Not Her

CHAPTER 9

I got out of the shower toweled, running to my phone: Two messages.

It may sound pathetic, but I'm not used to receiving real texts. I usually just get emails from websites I visit, or a message from mom telling me to watch over Jason while she is out.

When I opened this one; I found two texts from Jordan. We finally started texting, we are dinosaurs at this stuff.

"Hey. Even with your number; I can’t find you anywhere? What’s your deal, mysterious girl?" I smiled. Putting on my clothes before texting back.

"I can’t either."

"OH! You were stalking me too."

"Maybe."

I did for sure look for him on every single app that existed. Again.

"I don’t use it."

"Why?"

"I find it exhausting to…"

"Try to impress people the whole time?? Yes, me too."

"Yeah exactly …"

"How are you doing now?"

"I’m much better; maybe I’ll go to school tomorrow."

"Good. People have missed you."

"You mean you missed me?"

"No. I just saw you yesterday."

"Ouch!"

"But I miss you already."

"I knew it! Miss you too."

I was very excited to see Jordan in the classroom again. I sat in the back of the class scratching the table with my pen nervously. I can’t believe it’s been five months since I saw him for the first time. Things have been moving slowly between us, it’s due to my fucking insecure self of course. Thinking about it makes me feel a compilation of anger, regret, and sadness.

“If you like something, go for it. If you hesitate, just ask yourself: what the worst, it can happen?” That’s something my mother told me when I was nine. She knew I was into soccer and too afraid to sign in for the school team audition. Her words encouraged me and thanks to her I followed my passion. I wish I remembered her advice when I first met J.

‘Good morning Miss.’ HE IS HERE! Finally.

He got in and sat two seats in front of me, the gypsum was gone but based on the way he walked, I could tell he was still hurting.

A few seconds after, he turned around and looked at me. I was already staring at him, which was very embarrassing. He winked, and this time I smiled back.

‘This sandwich is amazing.'

Jordan looked at me, mouth full. I smiled at him, realizing that this is my first time not sitting alone in the cafeteria. During all my high school years I either took lunch alone in some corner or skipped it until home to work on some assignments or whatever. Even the girls from my team make me feel like an outsider.

‘Well, my mother is a chef so…’

‘Is she?’

‘Yes’; I said in a proud tone.'

‘You cook yourself?’

‘I tried once and it did not turn good.’

‘Why?’

‘No big deal I just burned the shit out of my arm.' I answered sarcastically making him smile. Oh BOY! He looks extremely cute when he smiles. ‘Show it to me?’

‘What is it?’

‘Your arm. DUH!’

I pulled my sleeve up to reveal the old scar under my right elbow. ‘How can a normal human being burn that area while cooking?’, he asked laughing.

‘Exactly... I’m not normal…Is that a burn too?’ I asked touching the mark on his neck.

‘No, actually that’s a birthmark,' He seemed kind of surprised by my touch. Our eyes met in this electric moment, both feeling the intention. I pulled my hand a little embarrassed and opened my sandwich.

‘I have a tattoo too,' he added drawing an adorable smirk on his lips. ‘Can I see it?’ I looked honestly at his gaze, he burst into laughter, ‘no you can’t'.

‘Oh!... Oh my god! is it in your … I’m sorry.’ Somebody, please kill me.

‘No! What...?’ he couldn’t stop laughing. ‘It’s not on my ass.’

‘Well fuck you,' I said throwing an olive at him. No need to hide my embarrassment, my face was probably all red like a tomato.

‘It’s on my heart,' he said after a while, faking a dreamy tone. ‘It’s an L.’

It’s getting hot in here or is it just me? ‘Yeah really funny...What does it stand for? Loser?’

‘Well it stands for Laura actually, but I guess that’s the same thing,' he answered winking.

‘That’s a good one. Asshole.’