Selfish bastard

Part 5

(David's POV)

I'm dressing up while Simon's under the shower. I don't know what I was thinking when I chose to do without lubricant but the sitting position hurts like hell. Let's face it : I probably wanted it all to end quickly. What's wrong with me ? I used to love it so much... 

I stand up to stretch my muscles then walk up to Simon's bedroom. I look around but couldn't find my luggage. I'm watching under the bed when Simon finally appears.

"You lost something ?" he asks, toweling himself dry.

"Definitely. Where did you put my luggage ?"

"Oh...hum...You know, I wasn't sure what you'd like to do...I mean, for the night. If you'd prefer to sleep alone...regarding the situation" he answers, fidgeting, clearly uncomfortable.

My smile instantly disappears as I look at him coldly : "Are you serious ?" I ask, detaching each syllable. So basically, he intended to make me sleep in the guest room and puts it on me...classy...He instantly regrets his words.

"It was just an idea...forget about it, it was stupid."

He quickly exits the room and comes back with my bag. "You stay here, of course, no question about it".

He gives me a soft kiss then reaches for his clothes. I sit on the edge of the bed, thinking about Jimmy's words. 'He just offers himself more time to fuck'...I sigh. I seriously think about leaving right now but Simon cheerfully says : 

"I hope you're not too choosey about food cause tonight, I'm the chief." 

Wow... Simon Cowell, who hates to cook, prepares dinner for me ? Well...it almost makes me forget about the earlier incident.

"Ok...need some help ?" I ask with a smirk. 
"Nope. Just relax, enjoy your evening. And pray for both of us" he replies. 

We both chuckle. Perhaps I'm too picky, after all. I should probably stop overthinking. Let's give it another try.

.....................

In terms of 'making dinner' Simon actually warmed up and added some spices to the Italian food he bought from a caterer. Still, I thank him warmly for the effort. 

I follow him for a nice, relaxing after dinner time in his living-room. Dim light, soft music, a glass of good single malt...I really fancy it could induce heart to heart moments with him and decide to impulse some romanticism.

I look deeply in his eyes then gently caress his cheek. I want him to know it's a special time for me. He smiles, seems relaxed and happy. For a moment, I'm under the illusion he's in the same mood as me. So I bend to delicately catch his lips. Just a sweet, tender kiss. 

Unfortunately, Simon chooses a well known path as the kiss woke up his lust. He grabs my neck and hungrily deepens it. Soon, he starts to remove my belt, to unzip my pants...The same scenario we've been through again and again...I don't want this.

"Wow, wow, Simon...Slow down, please !" I inquire.

But he doesn't listen to me anymore. He's now so horny nothing else matters to him. He just groans, annoyed by my attempts to turn him away.

"Simon...calm down, will you ?" I try again, more firmly.

"Shhhhhhh...Baby, I want you...let me show you..." he says with a hoarse voice, his hand now making its way inside my boxer short. 

"Simon, no !" I protest once again, trying my best to stop him but it's ineffective. He now grabs my dick and captures my lips for another unbridled kiss. 

"ENOUGH !!!" I shout and this time, I push him away sharply, making him fall on the carpet. I can see shock and anger passing through his brown eyes.

"What's your problem ?!" he yells but rapidly tones down as he catches my sight again. 

If eyes could kill, he'd be drop dead right now. My whole body's tensed, my fists strongly clenched. 

"You dare to ask me that ?..." I utter, trembling with anger. 

"David..." he starts shyly but I have no intention to let him finish. He seems helpless. Fine.

"Why did you invite me for the week-end, Simon ?" 

"Was it a bad idea ? Did I do something wrong ?" he tries, clearly walking on eggshells. 

I sigh. His lack of psychology sometimes makes me wonder what I first saw in him.

"Of course not...That's not the point...I was just...I was expecting something else."

"What exactly did you expect, David ?" 

"Do I really need to tell you ?" I retort bitterly. 

Does he do that on purpose or what ? He knows what I feel, he always knew...Still, I can tell he's concerned. He clearly hesitates but eventually goes on.

"I thought you were enjoying it as much as I was..." 

Once again, he diverts from the main point. I start to lose patience. Words now fall from my lips as I open my heart to him :

"Simon...Don't you know I'm in love with you...? Was it naive of me to think that, maybe, this time, it would be different ? Not just physical ?...All I want is to be close to you..."

I can't take it anymore and tears quietly flow on my cheeks. He remains silent and just looks at me, trying to talk but no sound comes out of his mouth.

"Say something..." I whisper, knowing deep inside it's hopeless. 

After a few seconds, facing his mutism, I simply murmur : "Thank you..." and turn away from him. This time, I'm done. I walk up the stairs and pack my stuff as quickly as possible. He doesn't even bother to follow me. When I'm back a few minutes later, he's still where I left him. He tries to catch my eyes but I ignore him, reaching directly for the door. 

"Come on, David, please ! I thought we were good together..." he says at last, grabbing my arm to stop me. He really looks worried, realizing he did a huge mistake. I don't care anymore. I free myself from his grip and, taking a deep breath, I stare at him. 

"I love you...and you just don't care. It's all about YOU and satisfying YOUR needs. I'm not just a body, Simon. There's a human being here and a beating heart. You just use me. Worst of all, you gave me false hopes. I will never, ever forgive you for that. Jimmy's right : you're a selfish bastard and I don't want to see you again."

My vision blurred by tears, I open the door but he stands on the way. 

"David, please, don't do that to me...don't leave me..." he pleads and I can see he's now desperate. I've never seen him like that and I'm genuinely shaken but it's too late, I've made my decision. I firmly push him aside and pass the threshold. 

"You'll find my letter of resignation on your desk tomorrow morning" I tell him without even turning around.

And with that, I left.