How High?

Bella

He'd torn his shirt because I was cut. That was probably the nicest thing a guy had ever done for me. Hell, that was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. Granted, once he tucked it back in you couldn't even tell it was ripped. But I knew.

God, that's cheesy.

In other news, I'd had a total freakazoid—breakdown—panic attack thing that had caused a total dent — get it? — in the atmosphere and had left me feeling weighed down by shame. I'd really gone and done it this time, hadn't I? I couldn't be normal for two whole minutes without short circuiting. Things had been kind of weird since then and I wasn't sure if it was because of my previously mentioned outburst, the odd moment we'd had while he was wrapping up my hand with his soft, and probably super expensive, shirt or a fun mix of both. I mean, I felt like it was odd, but maybe he didn't. Maybe he usually nearly suffocates himself on the daily for kicks. Okay, "suffocate" may be a little extreme, but he'd held his breath for a very long time.

We'd been quiet for a good while and I was really really tempted to bring up the topic of kissing and love and such. Talking about that sort of stuff with him had given me a little feeling of excitement and I wanted to chase that, but I wasn't sure how to go about it without making it focused on me.

'So, what was your first kiss like?' I blurted before I could stop myself.

Why did I do that?

'It was...nice.'

'Nice,' I repeated blandly.

'First kisses aren't as glamorous as the movies make them out to be,' he said. 'You know, I still can't believe you've never kissed anyone before.'

God, kill me now.

'Yeah.'

Yeah? Yeah? What the fuck?

'D—' he hesitated. 'Do you actually want it?'

Huh?

'Want it?' I slowly asked.

Ethan coughed. 'Your first kiss. Like, are you the kind of person that is desperate for it to happen or are you chill about it?'

Is he insane? Who doesn't want their first kiss? He must be joking. Maybe this whole thing is a joke. What are the chances I get stuck in an elevator for hours with a big YouTuber? I tried to subtlety look for hidden cameras but there weren't any.

Maybe this is real. Maybe.

I imagine I'd been blankly staring into space for almost a minute, so I shook my head a little. 'I want it. A lot.'

He grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. 'I don't really know what to say now.'

'That's okay,' I replied.

We were quiet for a few minutes.

'What if I kissed you?'

My eyes popped out of their sockets and rolled along the floor, coming to a stop next to his leg. 'What?' I croaked.

'Just to get it out of the way.'

Just to get it out of the way?

'Are you for r— no. For fucks sake, Ethan. Don't ask me shit like that.' My flustered state was unmistakable.

'Why?' he quite nearly cried out, rearing his head back in full confusion.

'Because you're super hot and you don't understand what it's like to be a nineteen year old with the sexual experience of a goldfish!'

Wow, I just totally said that. Out loud. In the open. In real life. With no rewind button to undo it.

'You think I'm hot? And where did the "goldfish" thing come from? I'm pretty sure those little dudes have kids.'

Fuck.

'I'm sorry, okay? Can we just stop talking about this?'

'Only if you close your eyes,' he said.

'Why?'

After the...situation...I'd gone back to lying on the floor with my legs against the wall and he'd sat over in the diagonally opposite corner from me.

I twisted my neck to look at him and he raised his brows. 'I've got some more juicy questions about your love life if you want to continue?'

'I don't. I really don't.'

'Then just close your eyes. What's the big deal?'

I stared him down for a moment.

What is his angle?

'Do you need to change or something?'

'No,' he replied.

That's one option out the window.

'Are you going to...adjust yourself?' I asked cautiously.

'No! Will you just do it?'

I sighed.

Whatever it is can't be that bad, can it?

I closed my eyes and made a show of letting him know I'd done it. Nothing seemed to be happening; everything was quiet. I then heard him slowly moving towards me.

'Ethan—'

'Shush.'

'Okay.'

Once he got near me he stopped. I gulped down my heart before it burst out of my throat and started flopping all over the floor. I could feel him near me and I was unbelievably tense, waiting on him slapping me in the face or letting a string of saliva slowly fall onto me.

Fuck it.

I opened my eyes.

They immediately met his. His hands were at either side of my head and he was leaning over me.

Oh, shit.

He's like, right fucking there.

I could feel his soft breaths falling across my cheek and before I could say a word, he slowly lowered his face and brushed his lips against mine.