Don't - A Stary Fanfiction

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A/N :: I had practiced a little bit of Mormonism for half a year, but that does not mean I knew what I was writing exactly. If there is something wrong or misrepresented, please feel free to let me know!

Date, and say nothing to nobody. Date, but don't touch. Date, yet with no kissing involved. Rules, rules, rules. Stan understood everything about Gary's anxieties involving self-discovery; take a daring step out of his religious norms and into a new world of acceptance was understandably frightening. Acceptance, except people who couldn't understand Gary's religion wouldn't be too kind on questioning his choices. Then there's the fear of being disowned by the family and even turned away by the church. On top of that, Stan's friends would definitely make girlfriend jokes again, surely spreading the word of the two dating.

That's why the two had agreed to go about the self-discovery in secrecy.

September, being the last year of high school, was going to be filled with excitement and nervousness. Stan had no clue in mind where he wanted to go after May, let alone what he wanted to do with his life. Helping animals was something definite, but unknown as to how exactly to get there. As for Gary, nothing. Not a single clue was on his mind. Childcare? Housekeeping? Missionary! ... Maybe. Dating one of the same sex had discouraged Gary from hoping to serve his church.

Class began that morning, in which Gary had a seat in the front of the room while Stan was seated in the middle with his friends. He felt a little bad Gary, seeing as how his only friends were a couple girls and one other guy- and that one guy was surprisingly not Butters-, yet they didn't attend the same class. It was morning, and to spend a morning sitting alone with no friends felt disappointing.

It was Health Class; not only about diseases but about healthy communication and healthy ways of discovering one's own level of comfort. Boundaries, emotional connection, agreements, disagreements- Everything Gary already preached about that Stan had not yet heard of. Of course he has heard of such things before, but coming from Gary's mouth had not happened between the two. Dating had only begun a few days prior, anyways.

The topic was brought up after school. Stan's friends questioned why he was going to the Harrison's house, in which he had come up with the act of rolling his eyes and explaining, "I suck at Math, so they paired me with him. I don't know how long he's gotta tutor me for." It was true how Stan didn't know Math whereas Gary was a Mathematical genius, but the reason to the lie was obvious.

Stan found himself sitting beside the young man on his bed, door closed for a "private study session for school," because it wasn't a lie to his dad. They were discussing what they had learned from Health Class in order to apply it to their dating. Not relationship, because dating comes first. Stan understood that, despite wanting an actual relationship.

"Do you remember what we went over the other day?" Gary asked with a hopeful smile.

Of course it was recalled, "Don't tell anyone, don't touch and don't kiss." Stan was met with a more positive smile. He couldn't help but smile back in a friendly way, feeling good about making someone else happy.

Yet it was almost like a mantra with "Don't" repeating over and over in Stan's head. Eventually, the repetition will break and stepping out of line for something new, something more would surely come, because it's what Gary had gone through. A repetition of following rules, then a rebellion and seeking change was bound to happen. But it was something the two hadn't thought about yet.

Don't tell my dad. Don't tell my brother. Don't tell our friends. Don't tell your dog. Don't, for the love of God, tell Him. Don't tell Him. Don't tell Him. Don't tell...

Gary found himself praying that night, stronger than any other prayers, as if trying to get on His good side. The young man felt selfish, knowing it was wrong to kiss up to the Higher Being, but he wanted to be good. He wanted to be good, but he wanted to be himself.