Billdip: An improbable ship that's actually rather popular

Phone call

Dipper's POV:

That night I decided to FaceTime Mabel about the "situation". I knew she'd stay relatively open-minded about all of this, and who knows. Maybe she'd know how I was supposed to deal with Bill's strange behaviour.

It's not like I could talk to Ford. I hadn't even told him about Bill surviving the aftermath of Weirdmageddon, knowing he'd try to kill him again.
Not that he didn't deserve it or anything but, as long as he wasn't hurting anyone, I didn't really want him dead.

…

"He did what...?" My sister's expression showed nothing other than complete and utter befuddlement.

"He brought me a real heart as a gift!!! Then acted surprised that I didn't want it!! He mentioned something about reading it from a book (god knows what book tells you to give beating hearts as gifts), then when I asked him about it, he got all awkward and disappeared!"

Mabel giggled, "Awww!"

"No!!! Not 'awww'!!! Why is it 'awww'!!!?? What part of 'he brought me organs' don't you understand!!!"

"Well, he obviously likes you~" she laughed, wiggling her eyebrows in a supposed to be suggestive (but really just idiotic) manner.

"Likes me...? You can't be serious. Are we talking about the same person here!? It's probably just some sort of dumb joke or prank or something!!! He wouldn't like me! I don't even think he's CAPABLE of liking people!!! Especially not like that!!!"

She tutted and shook her head, "Deary me Dipper. Have you forgotten who I am!? I'm the world's greatest matchmaker! Tomorrow, go confront Bill, and ask him what his deal is! Then, act like you know he likes you, and watch his response!"

"He can read minds Mabel!"

"Well it's worth a shot. Promise me you'll at least try?"

"Fine. I promise"

I hung up.
That wasn't really what I needed to hear.