Girls Who Play Guitars

•worst slider gig ever•

~SYDNEY ARENA~

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Ellie held her pick in the air, waved for Kim and Meg to pause playing. Even though Kim's beats were right, to Ellie, they sounded off - jerky and all over the place, like the squeaky wheel on Ellie's old school bike. They'd played 'Green' a thousand times, but never like this.

Ellie stepped up to the microphone as the claps and cheers from the crowd hushed and Meg's bass strokes faded out.

"We're gonna start again." Ellie peered across the sea of grinning faces from under the spotlight with her cheeks ablaze. "You guys deserve the best, and that was"—she turned to glance at Kim, who quickly averted her eyes—"weird."

The crowd roared in appreciation, and relief washed over Ellie they weren't yelling at her to get off the stage.

Turning with her guitar, Ellie looked up at Kim, who sat at her kit, mouth in a fixed line. She motioned for Kim to begin again, then ducked her head to strum her first chords. Kim played stiltedly, leaving Meg and Ellie struggling to connect with her. Ellie lifted her eyes. Kim stared straight ahead with a sober look as she pounded the skins.

Ellie looked at Meg, who shrugged and dropped her eyes to her fingers, trying to keep the enthusiasm going.

But it was all wrong.

Waving at Kim and Meg to pause again, Ellie stepped back to the microphone. "Sorry guys, we're having some tech issues."

The crowd rumbled, delighted at this sudden improvisation that never happened during these bigger shows.

Ellie walked up to the drum kit and leaned across the Toms.

"Kim, please," she murmured. "If you're angry or mad at me, play angry, play mad. Don't just play."

Kim tapped her drumstick on her high-hat a few times so it rang out across the crowd in a hail of echoing tinkles like stars falling. "I am playing, Ellie," she said, her eyes focused somewhere over the back of Ellie's head.

Ellie took a breath and tried to swallow away the tightness in her throat. Kim hadn't said one word to her since the record store 'incident'. Of course, Ellie understood why, but when it mattered most, she needed Kim on her side. She needed Kim to pour those emotions into the music, not let them distance her from it.

Ellie tried one more time. "I said I was sorry. Why not channel all your shitty feelings into your sticks? You lead us. You'll feel better and we'll sound better. Can you do that?"

"Fine." Kim's jaw tightened, and she nodded, unable to meet Ellie's eyes.

But to Ellie, Fine wouldn't cut it.

Fine meant playing without feeling. Fine meant mediocre and meaningless. Fine meant another shit review and having to face the critical eye of Brenin again.

If they couldn't give this song the passion it needed, they couldn't play it at all.

Ellie gave Kim one more imploring look before heading back to the mic.

"Hey, thanks for being cool about this." Ellie said. "We're gonna skip 'Green' tonight. But that means you're closer to seeing Glue!"

As the crowd screamed at the mention of Daniel's band, Ellie nodded across to Meg and even though the mood across the room lifted, Ellie's dropped.

When she started the chords to 'No Absolution', she didn't dare look over to the wings at Brenin. The entire set, he'd watched with that firm, long-suffering look Ellie knew wasn't good.