Ultraviolet ✔️

16.1

Chapter Sixteen

I start babbling, trying to find a way to mask the truth as best I can. I don't know what to say to get him off my back, but I'm searching for the best excuse I can manage. He could run, he could tell me I'm crazy. I could lose him right here, right now.

"I mean, I didn't see it," I start to say. "I just had this really bad feeling—"

I'm losing ground. I'm trying to keep calm and try to find a way to explain without it sounding absolutely insane. Then again, there really isn't a way. My ability isn't natural. It's not the sort of thing people discuss daily, and it sure as hell isn't a normal problem to have.

"Violet?" Joel says. It's one of the few times he's ever said my full name. There's no kindness or love. At this moment, my name is just a word and nothing more than that.

"I didn't actually see it," I babble, the lie fairly unconvincing. "That's a crazy idea. No one can see the future! I mean, I don't know..."

"You're lying to me," he observes. "You're sweating and shaking and I'm certain that the reason you can't look me in the face is that you're not telling the truth. I'm not stupid, it's my job to know when someone is lying, Vi."

"I don't... I just... I'm sorry," I finish defeatedly.

He scrubs a hand over his face, considering this. "The thing is, if you're lying and saying you didn't see it, then that means you did. What are you? Are you psychic? Jesus Christ, that's not possible."

I feel selfish for not wanting him to leave. My world is dangerous. It's better for him that he not be in my life, but at the same time, I don't want to be without him.

"I don't know what I am," I admit. "Do you really want to hear this?"

"I wouldn't be standing here if I didn't, Vi," Joel says softly.

That's when I confess. "I see how people die."

He just stares at me, dumbfounded, and I start babbling.

"It happens when I touch people for the first time. My skin meets theirs and then I'm watching it like a bad dream. I see it play out in front of me. If it's murder, I report it to the chief so when the time comes, we catch the criminal. I'm not really an intern for them, I'm just someone Chief uses as an investigation tool. I guess it makes me feel better about myself because I know that even if I didn't save the person, my vision can save others in the future. The funny thing is, Joel, I've always felt like I'm not worth saving."

My voice cracks. My walls are starting to fall and I'm not ready for it.

"I have no idea where this curse came from. There's no indication it's genetic or even something I ate. No explanation."

He's unreadable, not even looking at me anymore. I feel it, the way the air between us has filled with intensity.

"I understand why you probably want to go right now," I whisper. I'm worried if I try to talk louder, I'll break down again. "And you can. It's your right to never come back to me if that's really what you want. I can live with it. So if you're going to walk out of my life, this is your chance. I'm giving you an out."

Suddenly, his gaze shifts back to mine, eyes wide with hurt.

"You think I'm gonna just walk out on you, Vi?" he asks.

"Is that not the sane thing to do?" I cock my head. "You can't seriously be okay with this."

"You think that my feelings for you are so shallow? You couldn't be more wrong. You're still you, Violet. Regardless of whatever it is that is going on with you, you're still Vi, you're still the girl I want to be with. You're still a person who tries to do the right thing. You tried to save that kid. You help stop murders and save lives! How do you not grasp how much you matter?" He takes my face, framing it with his fingertips and tilting my chin to look up at him.