Through The Dark || Harry Styles

37. LUCY

LUCY

"You knew?"

I want to scream but the sound is as weak as I feel; my voice trapped in the same chokehold that my mind and body are caught in.

Harry has been deceiving me as much as everyone else.

His noble preaching about never being like Jake has completely gone out the window with the realisation he has been lying to my face for months.

I truly believe that there is only so much grief a person can cope with until it becomes suffocating, and the last 24 hours have tested those limits.

Although there was a tiny amount relief watching Amy leave this house, the destruction she left in her wake is insurmountable.

"Amy told me at the funeral," Harry says calmly, steady in his decision to keep me in the dark.

"Oh god," I whisper to myself, having to look away from him as he continues.

"She thought I already knew, but I didn't. Jake never mentioned her, or their disgusting affair to me. I promise you."

"That was six months ago, Harry," I exhale, pacing while he remains still.

My tears are drying. I can't process enough of the chaos to justify any more of them.

"Yes, but-" he starts, but my anger bursts through.

"You should have told me!"

"I was protecting you!" he yells back.

I can see the fear in his eyes and it only adds to my confusion.

"Do you think I'm stupid? I would have found out eventually!"

Harry steps towards me, his brow creasing in the middle as I take one back.

"Lucy, can you remember what you were like the first night I came over, or when Amy was here after the funeral? You were sleeping on the couch after half a bottle of vodka to yourself. Imagine finding out about this back then."

He's right, I know he is. But it doesn't make it hurt any less.

I let him inch closer and I hear him sigh as he runs a hand through his hair.

"This was their lie, not mine."

"I feel like I'm going to be sick." My brain is clouded by everything that is pushing forward and demanding attention.

I knew Jake was sleeping around, I was never enough for him. But to see his own words, written out in front of my eyes, confessing not only sex, but love, for another woman was devastating.

To discover that woman was my best friend, is something else altogether.

Just when I thought that I may drown from the deceit, another wave crashed down.

There was a baby.

I know it's wrong, but a fucked up part of my mind found a tiny piece of hope to hang on to out of this destructive news. The baby was Jake's. There was going to be a part of Jake, still on this earth that I can see and hug and love.

I saw a little glimmer of positivity in the sea of doom.

Until that was taken away as well.

My pulse is thumping in my ears and I am struggling to take in a full breath.

"Amy said she was going to tell you, but I wanted her to wait until you were stronger, until you could handle it. I didn't expect her to disappear and I was all of a sudden holding on to this information that she dumped onto me," Harry tries to explain.