II. Long Longed Wish

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The morning came rather fast with its rays peeking through the small gap between curtains and into the room that was dark. Clothes were discarded on the floor, in different places but Mark's sweater that he wore snuggling more into sheets and moaning softly. The room had red wine walls and white furniture, the cold breeze sneaked from under the door and caressed Mark's exposed skin who shivered lazily opening his eyes.

He couldn't remember how he ended up home, his sight clearing and giving him a better image of the room which by the way wasn't his. He felt something dry on his face, unable to move his facial features freely. He groaned rolling on his back as sharp pain pierced his hips and lower back. He yelped, lifting against the sheets, blanket lazily loose and pooling around his waist. The first thing he saw was his clothes discarded on the floor with boxers and next thing that made him widen his eyes was Jinyoung sitting on the sofa hiding his head into his palms.

"We messed up." He said in wavery voice, Mark's hair messily sprawled over his forehead and heart beating rapidly as he looked under the blanket to see himself being exposed with something dry on his thighs as he soon realized. His head still was dizzy, and stomach nauseous as he said softly a little in confusion, "W-what?"

"We crossed the line. I am sorry Mark I was suppose to watch over you." Jinyoung apologized not looking at Mark whose world came crushing down to his feet, he slowly lifted from the bed and walked over to the mirror looking how wrecked he looked. His neck lathered in hickeys, as well as shoulder as sweater fell from it. His wrist in dark shade of purple and when he glanced over to the couch it all came back to him.

He remembered kissing BamBam which too was his first kiss, he remembered throwing himself onto drunk Jinyoung and doing all the sinful acts in this small intimate room. He remembers that his sanity left with the nth glass of wine he drank, and that somehow he was conscious of what he was doing but his body did not want him to stop. It was his fault? Right? He was the one pulling the trigger of the gun pointing at himself.

He lazily opened the door of the bathroom, turning the water of the sink on and splashing his face. Cleaning the dry cum as he tried to bring back his sanity, bring back his virginity knowing it was not possible at all. Tears were leaving his eyes as he cleaned it and dry his face with a towel. His strands dripping with water.

He walked into the room and shamelessly dropped on the bed facing Jinyoung looking blankly at him. Looking at his wrist than and than again at Jinyoung. Words hang up in the air but none of them suited the situation Mark was in. Although other male lifted his head to look at Mark pleadingly as he said, "Mark speak to me, tell me something. Curse me just don't treat me with silence."

"I..." He began and he inhaled deeply, getting his hand through his hair, "I think no words would fix... what we had done." He said curling into small fluff ball on the sheets hugging his knees to his chest. He was surprisingly calm, but he did not hate what had happened. He wasn't mad on Jinyoung, nor anyone it was his own damn fault, "It's mostly my fault. I threw myself onto you and I am sorry."

"No, I said I'll watch over you but I didn't." Jinyoung sat next to Mark slowly and Mark did not even flinch. What was point in running away and being shy after all the filth he spilled previous day. He let Jinyoung embrace him, smaller resting his head on Jinyoung's shoulder and breathing steadily.

"You did. If you did not, I may have slept with a stranger. I am actually glad it was you I slept with." Mark said softly and he felt a tighter grip on his upper arm as he just relaxed softly, "You're still my friend?"

"I am... Only if you want me to be it?" Jinyoung said softly and Mark hummed in response hugging Jinyoung around the neck, the male returning the hug and rubbing soothing circles into Mark's back whose embrace couldn't be tighter, "Thank you Jinyoungie..."

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