Blind Shot (ON-HOLD)

TWO

More than two years ago.

Hindi malaman ni Zach ang gagawin. Para siyang baliw na nagpalakad-lakad sa loob ng ER ng ospital na pinagdalhan sa asawa.

Ilang beses niyang tinangkang lapitan ang asawang kasalukuyang niri-revive ng doctor at nurses ngunit ayaw siyang palapitin ng mga ito.

"C'mon, Tanya! C'mon!" ang malakas niyang sigaw dito. He knew she could hear him.

Pinagsarhan siya ng kurtina ng isa sa mga nurses kaya hindi niya nakikita ang nangyayari sa loob ng cubicle. But she can hear a lady doctor saying "Clear!"

"C'mon, Tanya! Don't give up on us, babe!" he kept shouting. "You need to fight for the baby!"

Hindi niya alam ang nangyari pero naabutan niya itong nakabulagta sa loob ng apartment nila. Pills were scattered all over the bed.

Mahirap mang intindihin kung bakit pero she looked like she overdosed herself.

But why? Why would she do that?

Why would she kill herself?

Wala naman silang problema!

And she's pregnant with their baby, for crying out loud! Three months na lang at manganganak na ito.

She was actually excited about giving birth to their first born! Kaya hindi niya lubos maisip kung bakit nito naisipang magpakamatay!

Nakita niyang lumabas ng cubicle ang doktora. His heart beat became even more erratic. Pakiramdam ni Zach ay hindi na siya makahinga sa sobrang lakas at bilis ng kabog ng kanyang dibdib.

He watched as she approached him.

"Kayo po ba ang asawa ng pasyente?" ang mahinahong tanong ng doktora nang makalapit ito sa kanya.

She looked too young to be a doctor, he noticed.

"Yes, I'm the husband," aniya.

He was trembling, noon lang niya iyon napansin.

"I am Dr. Salazar. I am so sorry but we already tried everything we can do to save your wife. But I'm sorry to inform you that we couldn't save her," ang mahinahon nitong wika.

"What?! Anong you couldn't save her?! Try again! You have to try again! Please!!!"

"Lampas thirty minutes na po naming tina-try i-revive ang asawa ni'yo. Wala na po talaga. I'm sorry," anito.

"Anong wala na talaga?! You need to try again! You need to try harder!"

"She's actually pronounced dead on arrival. Pati iyong baby wala ng heartbeat when we checked. But we did try to revive your wife. We already tried everything pero wala na po talaga. I'm so sorry."

"No, no," he started shaking his head. "Hindi pwedeng mamatay ang asawa ko! We're about to have a baby! She can't die! Hindi sila pwedeng mamatay ng anak ko! Wala na ba talaga kayong pwedeng gawin? Doktor ka ba talaga? Call someone else! You need to call someone more competent! Sino ba ang head doctor dito? You need to f*cking try again! You need to do something!" He was practically shouting.

Pero puro "sorry" lang ang naririnig niya mula sa walang kwentang doktor.

He strode past the young doctor and headed straight to the cubicle where her wife was.

And he saw her there. Lying. Lifeless.

"Babe! Babe! Gumising ka, babe! This is not a good joke, babe! Wake up! Tanya, wake the f*ck up! I need you to wake up, c'mon! Don't do this to me! YOU NEED TO WAKE UP!!!"

Ngunit kahit na anong yugyog ang gawin niya sa asawa, wala siyang makuhang reaksiyon mula dito.

Tanya had left him. Together with their unborn baby. They left him.

Pakiwari nya'y tinakasan siya ng lahat ng lakas niya sa katawan. His legs gave in. Napasalampak siya sa sahig ng ospital kasabay nang pagkawala ng ubos-lakas na hagulhol mula sa kanyang mga labi.

No, this can't be happening! This can't be happening! This can't be f*cking happening!

Tanya can't leave him! She wouldn't leave him! She wouldn't kill herself! Or their baby! Tanya wouldn't do that!

Kasabay nang paglisan ng kanyang asawa't anak ang tuluyang pagguho ng kanyang mundo. At ang pag-usbong ng maraming katanungan sa kanyang isipan.

Why? Why would she do that?