soulmates | swaggersouls

viii

e r i c

the office screamed with energy, despite matt being out in japan for fucking ever and mason being his usual self, i should've been fine. but what was odd, was that i wasn't? believe it or not, it didn't matter how many people would be in the office, some days you just felt lonely, even if the people there were the closest you know.

i suppose today was one of those days. i knew in the back of my head i absolutely needed to get work done, but a thought tugged at my mind that i hadn't been able to brush off. i hated it. yet at the same time i didn't want said thought to leave. i mentally cursed at myself as i pushed myself off my desk and out into the open space. toby was streaming with cameron, so it was just mason, ryan, sam, and jay, who had been relatively scarce lately, but he had his own personal projects.

stepping out of the office, the slightly warmer atmosphere suddenly greeted me as the sun held high in melbourne. i glanced around before deciding to head over on a stroll, soon realizing this was a probably a bad idea, the pressing heat began stabbing into my clothing as i soon realized wearing a sweatshirt probably wasn't the best idea.

as i walked, the same memory from two days past now replayed continuously. i couldn't get her out of my head, but i didn't want her out. i knew for a fact that i liked her, platonically, of course but...i couldn't like her this suddenly, could i? i cursed at myself again. cars blurred by as i unconciously stared at the ground, bumping into a random pedestrian who stopped at the crosswalk. i apologized quickly and turned the other direction, hearing the person murmur a rather rude insult.

i became unaware of how much time had past, my phone buzzing with repeated missed calls and texts from toby and cameron. apparently we had a podcast to film today, and it was starting relatively soon. immediately i rushed back to the office, climbing up the stairs quickly to the floor we recorded on. panting gently i calmed down as i opened up the office door, being instantly greeted by a plethora of employees and a slightly worried toby and cameron.

toby glanced at me and let out a mild sigh, cameron finally catching my presence. he walked towards me as jay sat in the corner, mildly aware of what was happening.

"where have you been?" cameron asked frantically.

"i went out on a walk. needed to clear my head." i stated rather bluntly.

cameron was mildly pissed off, but sighed finally. "that's fine, just tell us next time? you had us worried for a bit."

"thanks dad, i appreciate it. but i am a full grown adult." i replied snarkily.

jay snickered for a moment, murmuring a quiet "yeah, full grown all right."

i shot a quick middle finger his way as he simply chuckled to himself. after getting everything properly sorted out, we finally sat down and recorded the podcast. i wouldn't call it a "regular" podcast, as they weren't ever really...well, regular. but we got it all sorted out. about halfway through cameron brought out his ukulele, to which toby and i performed a quite marvelous duet. ("it sounded like shit, though-" said a giggling jay).

we decided to end the podcast about forty five minutes later, all of us tired out from laughing and telling stupid stories and jokes. cameron said his goodbyes as the recording stopped on both the mics as well as the camera. i let out a tired sigh as jay smiled at me quite mischievously.

jay leaned across the table as toby and cameron left and whispered quietly. "so, who is she?" he asked curiously.

i raised an eyebrow at him, "sorry, who?"

jay scoffed, "you know who i mean, swagger. so pay up, who's the girl?"

i sighed once again, glancing around to ensure no one was listening. "it's nothing, really...but we met about a week ago, and we went out a couple days ago. not a date, just as a get together."

"but she's cute though?" jay inquired more inherently.

i flushed for a moment before brushing it away before he could notice. "well...yes."

"so you like her." he led on.

i prepared a counterargument for the statement, but at this point, who was i kidding? fuck it, i liked her. it's not like i could pretend like i didn't. each time i did, it only seemed i thought about her more.

"maybe," i said quickly. jay merely smirked and leaned back into his chair.

        "but nothing is probably gonna happen." i mutter to him, trying to hide the mild disappointment in my voice.

        "just because you just met doesn't mean she can't like you either."

          "that's true, i guess. i mean, we both do have a lot in common. even if i can't find an excuse to see her soon, she will be at pax aus in a couple weeks." i say.

        jay became more pretentious now, "she's going to pax?"

        "yeah, she's doing a panel there with a couple of her friends." i reply.

        "SHE'S A YOUTUBER?"

       "shut up- yes."

       jay looked at me for a moment, "find her, and keep her."

         i looked at him a tad dumbfoundedly before questioning his purpose, jay merely smiled.

         "you'll see. now, i gotta go run some errands. i'll see you home." jay says, picking up his belongings and saying his goodbyes to the rest of the boys.

          i leant back on my chair, very carefully, i might add. each time i leant back on a chair brought back a certain memory none of the boys would ever let me live down.

           i pulled out my phone and tapped (y/n)'s contact name, my finger hovering over the keyboard as i suddenly lost the idea of what to say to her.

           swallowing shallowly, i shut off my phone, too anxious to start a conversation at the moment. i decided to finish up what remained of editing, but regardless, i couldn't stop stealing glances at my phone.

           i wasn't even sure what i was hoping to see. just an excuse to talk to her, perhaps? liking someone sucks.

           and by some relish of fate, my phone suddenly pinger, (y/n)'s contact suddenly appearing onto the screen.

       i gazed at the message she had sent as my breath hitched mildly as i read it.

potential soulmate
hey i know this is super short notice and shit, but do you wanna go out or something? not like before though, for real this time.

        i immediately texted back, not formally thinking of what i was even saying, not caring anyways.

i'd love to.

      huh, simple, and it got the point across. not that i could change it anyway. regardless, i made sure to avoid the boys for the rest of the day, my mood much better than before and my face maybe a tad too red for my liking.

—

hello im alive

sorry i died for like a month its cause i have a shitty thing called school and its college and im paying too much for this shit so im trying even though i fucked my exam lmaoooo

study bitch

but hi i updated

are u proud