soulmates | swaggersouls

xi

the next couple of days sped by faster than lightning mcqueen in a police car chase. weird ass analogy, but you get the gist of it. niall, adrien, and i had been up to some absolute crackhead bullshit during the day, but once they settled in to sleep (which was around 2 am, mind you), i finally could clear my head just a bit, the mild insomnia getting to me as it usually did.

niall and adrien passed out on the couch and i decided to leave them there. i contemplated heading up to my room, but i knew i wasn't going to fall asleep. instead i crept into the kitchen and quietly opened the sliding door that led onto the patio outside. the night time breeze was cool and mixed blissfully with the springtime temperatures. my bare feet caressed the rough surface of the wood beneath me as i headed down the stairs onto the grass.

the grass tickled my feet gently as i continued onto the middle of the small yard. the humid air could begun to be felt, i was unsure if it was because of the coming seasons, or of the fires that were well spread across the country. it did become quite the plight to me as to how desperate the situation had become. it was also just simply marvelous how other governments cared about the fact that most of our land was burning and the animals were dying. not to mention the simple audacity of millionaires and celebrities who tweet out broken heart and crying emojis, exclaiming to the world that "climate change is real." when they have the money and power to at least do something. but keep looking for your earring in the ocean kim. everyone's dying now.

       i'm overthinking again, apparently. but they used to say that girls who were overly emotional and think too much were burdened to be barren. frankly i didn't give a shit, and if i was barren, well, its a win for me. i personally didn't care, but i didn't really want kids. hell why am i thinking of that now? i'm fucking single. though there is eric, but i didn't want to get my hopes up too soon.

         i sighed in both content and minor stress. there was a lot building up and i wasn't sure how it was gonna turn out. regardless of the matter, i was going to let this smooth over, and have fun with my friends while i had the chance. i didn't want to worry about the future, when i was letting the present slip past me as i worried.

—

       the alarm clock split my ears as it jolted me awake suddenly. for once i had finally slept at least half decently, and it was ruined by the impending sound that vexed me continuously every morning. i stared at it, almost eyeing it to fight me in a battle to the death in hopes that i would win, and it would award me the extra hours of sleep. but i knew better. i huffed as i suddenly realized the three letters that hung at the top right corner of the clock.

        friday.

        it hit me, finally, after being half asleep for about ten minutes. today was my date with eric. and i, quite frankly, didn't know what to do about it. the infinite thoughts flooded through my head rapidly and i found myself in a state of panic. what if i wasn't ready? what if i made an absolute idiot of myself, or he doesn't like me anymore? so many things could go wrong...

       "but so many things could go right." a voice said solemnly, taking me out of my panicked thoughts. i looked towards the doorway to where it originated from. it was adrian. he smiled softly as he walked into the room. "i can tell you're uneasy about all this. the nerves, the jitters, second thoughts, i went through all of that when i first confessed to niall how i felt and before our first date. it's normal."

       i struggled to find words, i had numerous questions, despite having done this before, this was....different? i was unsure now. "i didn't realize i said all that out loud." i murmur, "but do you think i'll really be okay?"