Fragments

Thick As Thieves

"You guys are such let downs."

The disappointment in Xi Men's voice was evident as he surveyed his friends over the rim of his glass, judgement flashing from behind his glasses as he shook his head in abject disgust. It had been an absolute age since he and his supposed 'best friends' had been able to meet up; Ah Si was off playing happy families with Shancai in annoyingly content marital bliss, Meizuo had been working on a new art project he described as 'revolutionary' and Lei... well, he was Lei. The loner. It had never been his style to go out and have a wild night unless blackmail and excessive force was used. Said friend was currently sulking into his whiskey like a petulant toddler as Xi Men crinkled his nose in disgruntlement, the fine alcohol doing little to soothe the bitter taste in his mouth. Lei seemed to be smarting over being dragged out for a night of well overdue fun, however, Xi Men was trying and failing to see his reasons. So what if he was heartbroken over Jing? They had all been utterly shattered at one point or another over a girl; the trick was to haul yourself out of the pit, not wallow in your own black despair. What Lei needed was an escape route; he had heard that misery loved company and he was determined to find Lei a date this night - he would succeed or die valiantly in the attempt! I swear, these guys wouldn't last a day without me Xi Men lamented internally, his own mood taking a severe nosedive as he pursed his lips at the uncooperative pair. He had called for reinforcements, but the cavalry had yet to arrive. They were so lucky to have him as a friend. Uncle Xi Men to the rescue once again!

Meizuo was currently oblivious to the daggers being thrown his way; his tallest friend was totally absorbed in sketching on a napkin, his drink forlorn and long abandoned. Try as he might, Xi Men couldn't make heads or tails of what he was trying to create; it all looked like a random mass of spiky shapes, however, Meizuo's retort was simply "it's abstract, you culture less heathen." Lei was point blank refusing to engage properly, gloomily stirring the ice in his almost empty glass and sucking all of the enjoyment out of the room. The only concession that Xi Men could grant was that at least he was properly drunk. His cheeks were flushed, he was swaying unsteadily in his stool and his brows were crinkled in annoyance; all signs were pointing towards a total black out, and Xi Men was more than happy to lead the way. It wasn't uncommon for Xi Men to be the shepherd of the inebriated; the rest of F4 were sloppy drunks and Xi Men was quite proud of being the only one who was able to hold his liquor. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, after all. They should know better than to dance with the devil if they didn't want to get burned - not like he had given them much of an option, granted. Details, details.

However, the thing about Lei that most people didn't know was that he had stages of drunkenness; mopey, depressing Lei was the five drink stage, the one that no one really wanted to spend time with. What an absolute drag a miserable Lei could be. Most people would have long ago waved the white flag and called it a night, however, Xi Men wasn't most people - there was a method to his madness. Xi Men had never seen Lei go past eight drinks, and he longed to see what lay beyond; it was a goal that Xi Men had secretly termed 'The Unicorn.' He had a feeling it would be as majestic and mythical as the fabled beast itself - but how to get him there when Lei was insisting on being a buzzkill? He had been nursing his drink for almost an hour (it was practically water at this point) and the novelty of watching him glower was rapidly deteriorating. Honestly, Xi Men was so annoyed with the pair of them - this was supposed to be the glorious reunion of F4! How could the two of them have completely checked out? Hell, he never thought he would miss Ah Si on a night out, but an unnecessary brawl would probably improve the ambience right about now! The desperation was real!

Xi Men sighed despondently as he mused over the opportunity Meizuo and Lei were squandering right now - for the first time ever, Yan Xi Men, the legendary Casanova of Mingde, was a taken agent. The floor was free for these two louts to have their pick of the litter, the very creme de la creme - surely they should be taking advantage of this momentous occasion? How often would they have a bona fide ladies man at their complete and utter disposal? These kids didn't know they were born! Xi Men wasn't sure whether or not he should be offended by their blatant ignorance of his unique skill set - both of them were hopelessly single, it was an ink stain on F4's stellar reputation. Even Ah Si was doing better than they were! Ah Si, who was so blind to romance it was practically a disability - how much more of a wake up call did Discount Picasso and Moaning Myrtle need? Admittedly, Xi Men wasn't long off the market himself and he couldn't claim in any circumstance that he had a halo - he had made numerous mistakes before Xiaoyou had managed to kiss some sense into him! Xi Men had never been the type to fall in love, but there was something about her that was electric; she positively thrummed through his veins, and he couldn't ignore her even if he tried. Lord knows, he had tried - how thankful he was that his persistent little woman had opened his eyes! But it was besides the point; was he really so wrong for wanting the same happiness for his very best friends in the world? Ah Si was one down but he still had two idiots to go! There was no rest for the wicked, or so it was said.