Sky Full of Scars

Chapter 9

I’m embracing the cold that has been slowly introducing us into fall these last couple of days. The sun goes down early. Leaving us with chilly evenings. I always loved this time of the year. For the blankets, the sweaters, candles and the cosiness. Now I mostly love it for its darkness. It’s somehow comforting. Nature’s way of showing me that darkness is okay. I’m sitting on the porch. Swapped the porch swing for the comfortable cushiony couch. I’m still nauseas and lightheaded. Swaying gently in the wind on the porch swing would be suicide.

I’m silently watching Ethan chop wood. A strong man, shopping wood for the fire. In the middle of the woods. Sounds like the start of an amazing romantic novel. Nothing romantic about this man splitting wood, though. I even have to suppress a smirk, when I see him waving around that axe. “I think you and dad have to take your other child to the doctor soon. Looks like he’s getting close to amputating his fingers.” I say to Ava, who is sitting next to me on the couch. She as well is silently watching Ethan curse and struggle. She turns her head towards me. Trying to give me a death stare. Not convincing at all. She looks more annoyed than angry. “No? Not funny?” I say dryly. But then she immediately confirms my sarcastic words by getting up and shouting at Ethan. “Ethan, maybe just wait for Grayson!” He turns his head towards us and even though his face is pretty much covered by a hoodie and a beanie, his flustered cheeks are still noticeable. “No, I’ve got this.” He breathes before he turns around and swings the axe over his head again. Chunks of wood fly through the air as soon as the maul touches the wood. “Okay, he maybe won’t amputate a finger.” I breathe. “But he for sure will go blind.” I add, coming up with one bad scenario after the other but feeling too indifferent about it to stop him. The cabin door opens and Grayson steps out. Ava looks up and her face starts beaming as soon as she sees him. Not a hint of the annoyance that was there just 5 seconds ago is detectable on her face.

I look over at Grayson, who is layered up in a hoodie and a puffer jacket. His hair is wildly flopping in front of his eyes and his usually sharp jawline is softened by the scruff of his growing beard. When I turn my head back to Ava she’s still gawking at him. It’s comforting to know her eyes are attached to her head by thousands of veins, nerves and muscles. Because they for sure would’ve popped out of their sockets if that wasn’t the case. She’s completely in awe of her boyfriend. He’s the manliest man she has ever come across. He likes to build, hike, work out. He has strong, huge hands. Strong, huge arms. Strong, huge quads. A strong, girth-y neck and well, let’s say he has another protrusion with a nice girth to it attached somewhere to his body. How do I know, you ask? Because she won’t stop talking about it!!

Yes. I am now the ‘Eeewww, sex’ kinda girl. As soon as the words: “Oh my God, Hunter! Last night-..” leave her lips I forcefully push my hand palms over my ears and start humming any song that comes to mind. I just don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to know what she does to it. What it does to her. Where it hit her face, her throat or uterus. When I think about it. Ethan and I are like their children. Who don’t want to know about their parents flourishing and wild sex life. Where I walk in circles around the kitchen island, while humming and covering my ears. Ethan stares at them in horror. “Eeewww, you two are disgusting!” He said yesterday before he left the room, acting as if he’s the Virgin Mary.

But when push comes to shove, I will admit that I am very happy Ava is happy. I could do without knowing the details of their sex life. But all things considered, this relationship, this connection is all I’ve ever really wanted for her. Ever since she’s been around Grayson it’s like Justin never existed. I’m thankful for that. I’m thankful for Grayson showing her what love really encompasses. Even though the scars Justin left are deep and still apparent in our daily lives, they don’t cripple Ava anymore. That’s more than I could ever ask for. Too bad the girth-y dude has an idiot of a brother.