𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘆 ; joe cole

32. ALWAYS WILL

Joe's POV.

"You two look amazing together," another one of Miranda's model friends raved to Miranda and I. Miranda had insisted that it was only polite that they go around to every living, breathing person in the room and talk to them, not forgetting to thank them profusely for coming.

"Thank you!" Miranda chirped robotically for about the hundredth time that night. But my attention was elsewhere; my eyes constantly flitting from the conversation to where Kim and Lara were teaching three male models from Miranda's agency how to play Kim's game, Nosedive.

I looked back at Kim again, but she had disappeared from the table, leaving a not so dissatisfied Lara to nurse the three male models. I found myself scanning the room for her, but she seemed to have vanished.

"Joe?" Miranda snapped him back to the conversation. "Clemence was asking about what you're working on at the moment."

"I, uh, can't say," I smiled. "I'm just going to nip to the toilet." I planted a quick kiss on the side of Miranda's head and slipped off quickly, not giving her time to object.

I passed the bathroom to the door at the bottom of the hall and peered through the open crack. There she was, Kim sitting on the side of the Futon bed amongst boxes and strewn about clothes, her eyes red as she sobbed. As I pushed the door open, her head snapped up and she wiped her eyes quickly, turning away.

"Kimmy?" I said quietly. "What's wrong?" I felt confused as to whether I should run over or keep my distance, or whether I should be in here at all.

"You changed the bed," she noted, ignoring my question. "It's nice."

"Kim what is it?" I coaxed softly. Was she drunk? She didn't seem drunk. So why was she crying?

"It's probably for the best, I mean the old one gave me backache," she powered on, bulldozing over my question again.

"Kim," I said again.

"Not to mention the weird stain that looked like Piers Morgan," she sniffed.

"Kimberly." I said in a sterner tone.

She turned to me quickly. "What, Joseph?"

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

"Why aren't you mingling?" She mocked.

I let out a small laugh. Of course Kim had noticed that. She always clocked on to annoying little things people did and made him laugh about them.

"Is this you, Joe?" She asked, standing up and crossing her arms. "The party full of models, the G&T's, being called Jojo, the fucking futon?"

I shrugged. "People grow up, Kim."

"Yeah, Jojo, you seem really mature," she said spitefully.

I didn't move or say anything.

"You're moving out, too?" Kim asked, gesturing to the boxes around the room. "Or is she moving in?"

"Moving out," I almost whispered. "I have to move on."

"The worst thing is, you're becoming one of those idiots in love we always took the piss out of," She went on. "The ones we would always say we'd never turn into. I guess it was just a matter of the right girl. I wasn't the right girl to turn you into one of those sappy, idiots in love."

I stayed very still. "What are you saying?" I asked, slightly pissed off. "That I didn't love you enough?"

Kim shook her head, a waxy tear creeping down her cheek.

"Then what? Because it sounds like you are," I glared. "I hope you're not fucking forgetting that it was you that ended it with me, you that said I was your friend when you could see how madly in love with you I was."

There was a long, heavy silence.

"You loved me, even then?" Kim asked breathily.

"It doesn't matter anymore, it's done now," I said. "I'm with Miranda."

Kim blinked. "But what if it does matter, Joseph," she said, walking up to me and cupping my face in her hands so that our noses were almost touching and our eyes were locked.

I could feel my heart racing as I stared into her glossy green eyes. "What does that mean?"

"Joe Cole," she said my name, her voice cracking. I knew I should stop her, she was drunk and didn't know what she was saying, but I couldn't. "I have always, and will always..." she swallowed, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Love you," her voice was merely a cracked whisper, but she said the words like she meant them. "I never stopped."

I pulled her in closer and kissed her, our lips tangling together like a ball of string wound around another. I wiped her damp cheeks with my thumbs as she intertwined her fingers in my hair.

"I love you," she whispered between kisses.

I carried on kissing her, and it felt so right, like everything was falling into place. I loved her too, I was in love with her, but some part of me at the back of my mind was stopping me from saying it. Whatever it was, it was eating away at my mind as I kissed her. I pulled away suddenly, my hands falling to my sides.

"What?" She said in a small voice.

"I love you too," I said. "But we broke up, for a real reason."

"I don't care about that," she said, her eyes welling up again. Mine had begun to gloss over too, but I blinked them back furiously. "I want you."

"You need to be Kim Davies, real, successful Kim Davies before you settle down with anyone," I gulped. "And I..." my voice wavered. "I need to let you go."

Kim shook her head. "Joe..."

"For real this time," I croaked. The pain in her voice was enough to force a tear out of my eye.

Kim looked as if she was going to protest, but the somewhat sober part of her seemed to show her the reason in what I was saying. Tears tumbled down from both of our eyes and stained our cheeks.

"One day along the line," I said. "We might find ourselves in the right place and time."

Kim nodded, wiping her eyes. "I will always love you," she said. "I mean that."

"I will always love you too."