Fallen

Busted!

'It was early in the morning the sun was seeping though my windows shining brightly in my eyes, waking me up. Aggravated I tossed and turned trying to go back to sleep; but I failed miserably. I scrunched up my face. It was only 9:00 and I wanted to sleep longer so you can say I was kinda pissed.'

THE SUN IS NOTHING BUT A WEE ATTENTION SLUT!

'I yelled.'

'My dogs laying at the foot of my bed looked at me with their heads titled, looking concerned and looking at me as if I had lost my mind.'

'I slightly smiled at the sight of them. They are my babies.'

'As if waking up early wasn't bad enough my goldfish were back on their bullshit again.'

'They were at the top of the tank blowing bubbles. The noise drives me mental! I swear they know exactly how to get under my skin and it's like they do it on purpose sometimes.'

KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!

'I yelled as I stomped my foot.'

'As soon as my foot hit the ground they go back to swimming, minding their own business like nothing ever happened, as if they weren't getting on my last nerve.'

'When I got up from my bed I swore every bone in my body popped and crackled. I sounded like the rice-krispy cereal.'

'I headed into the kitchen making myself some coffee. I only had enough for one pot of coffee. I opened up my pack of cigarettes only finding out I had two left; meaning I would have to go out into town today. I lowered my head and pinched the bridge of my nose.'

Fuuuuuccck!

'I groaned.'

'I poured myself a cup of coffee. The hot cup of coffee gave me a nice warm feeling inside.'

'After I finished my coffee I lit up a cigarette. Nothing beats that first cigarette of the day. I took a long drag, holding it in for a few moments and slowly exhaling the toxic smoke; causing me to have a nicotine buzz. I smiled at the small high feeling going through my body.'

'I made my way to the bathroom and turning the shower water on all the way hot. I waited for the bathroom to get a little steamy before I decided to strip down and get in. I stood there for about 10 minutes, lost in thought and enjoying the hot steamy water on my soft pale skin. When I snapped back to reality I hurried up washing my hair and my body.'

'I didn't realize how hot of a shower I took until I got out. My skin was warm to the touch and red as a lobster. The steam was just rolling off of me. The cool air against me felt nice. I ran a brush through my tangled wet hair, it snapping a lot but getting a lot smoother the more I brushed it out. I threw on a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. I threw up my wet hair up in a messy bun, put on a pair of black etnies, grabbed my last cigarette, my keys and headed out the door. I blasted Celine Dion the whole car ride she was my favorite.'

'When I arrived at the store I sat inside the car smoking a cigarette, trying to calm my nerves. Just the thought  of having to go inside made my hands sweat, my pulse racing and made my stomach churn. I have really bad anxiety and I hate going out. I lit my cigarette, the first drag taking the edge off of my anxiety. I smoked that cigarette a lot faster than I meant to. When my anxiety or depression is acting up I go through cigarettes and alcohol like wildfire.'

'When I went inside the story I kept my head low and my eyes glued to the floor, trying to avoid human contact at all cost. I got some coffee, a frozen pizza, a chocolate cake, a bottle of wine and a couple of packs of cigarettes. When the cashier rung up and bagged my stuff I murmured a soft thank you and headed for the door. When the door slid open I could taste the freedom and I felt some of my anxiety start to leave.'