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Dear Elmo,

I miss you. I know what I said before I left you was wrong, and not not true. I would never hurt you like that. I love you with every Dino nugget in my system, I would never have the guts to even touch another person.

  To prove to you that I wouldn't do such an act, I, and a team of hitmen, have teamed up and killed the whore I regretfully said that I've cheated on you with.

I know everything I did to you is unforgivable. So, I'm fully prepared if you don't want to give our love another chance. But if you do, meet me at the place where we had our first date.

Xoxo, Kermit.

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