love me.

31. the start of everything

changbin didn't know what the old man was asking of him but he didn't say anything and just allowed the man to lead him.

he didn't know where they were going or what the man wanted to say so he just stayed quiet.

the further they walked away from the living room, the more he couldn't hear the chattering sound of the maids and hyunjin.

ever since he had left the room, he couldn't help but think back to the face hyunjin gave when he walked out, the look of confusion and worry.

it was as if he was afraid of what his father would do to him. he knew that he was the only one closest to hyunjin apart from woojin but that was different since the kims and hwangs knew each other before he was born.

it was only natural that hyunjin and woojin would meet so it didn't really matter much. changbin, on the other hand, met hyunjin in the most absurd way.

of course meeting someone for the first time by saving them from committing suicide is seen to be abnormal but the fact that they connected soon after mattered.

despite changbin being really close to hyunjin, he had to admit that he didn't really know much about his past however judging by how he nearly committed suicide, he assumed that he must have been through a lot.

he wanted to confront hyunjin about it but he wasn't sure of how to bring it up or whether or not he wanted to talk about it.

to be honest, he was kinda afraid to ask even though he told hyunjin his past that was meant to be sensitive and something he wouldn't talk about much but there's also a part of him which told him it was okay to do it.

telling someone something sensitive meant that, that person also have the rights to be told something sensitive about them too. that way both of them would know each others deepest secrets nobody would ever know.

not to forget that, the friendship between the two would get deeper and closer. it would be the person's other self.

and changbin wanted that. he was certain that the connection between him and hyunjin is so special that he shouldn't waste his chance but ask.

also we mustn't forget the fact that changbin had nearly broken down when he was desperate for the younger's presence again. it shocked him, a lot.

for the past 4 years after his father's death, he never had the urge to break down and cry until he met hyunjin. the boy had changed him quite a lot.

it made him softer and weaker but in a good way. sometimes it's good to be strong but there are times when you've reached the limit and couldn't take it anymore.

continuing to be strong when you're just breaking down each second isn't good. what's good is that you have someone you can trust and rely on, not fully but times when you need them the most.

and that's what it means by friendship. you can't always do it yourself, it's okay to ask for help, it's okay to show your weak side to the person you treasure.

it's because you're a human, human with feelings and that's the meaning of life. you're not alone, everyone's suffering and honestly, it's a good thing - mental health that is.

life can't always be happy because then you can't see the moment where light shines the most in the dark. it shows all of us that there is a reason behind this, a test to test all of us the obstacle and hardships we encounter and how we go through it.

that's what they say, a beautiful moment in life: to help you become stronger and happier.

changbin had been too lost in thought that he didn't realise he was now in a room. the room he was now in was spacious.