Drowning on Dry Land

Bloody Desperation

Buck was startled out of his stupor by a man stepping in front of him, making him stumble back to avoid crashing into him.

"You're Evan Buckley, right?" Buck recognized him as the officer who pulled him from the water, but couldn't remember his name.

His heart went to his throat and he had to really work to keep himself calm. "Yes. Did you find Christopher?"

An apologetic look crossed the man's face, which made Buck wince. "No word yet. Your sister called from dispatch. She told me you are an off duty firefighter with the 118, so I figured you might want to give me a hand unloading the survivors from the rafts, while you wait for news about your son."

"Not off duty. Medical leave while I did physical therapy." He informed him through gritted teeth.

But the Officer just chuckled. "Yeah, she said that too. But if you're willing to help I won't turn you away just because you're not cleared. We could use the extra hands."

Buck shrugged, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets. They were still soaked and he was wrapped in a blanket because of the chill. "I'm sorry, but I need to keep looking for Christopher. My son is out there alone and needs me to find him," He tugged the blanket tighter against him, "But, I need to go to the 118 truck first. Where is it parked?" Calling Christopher his son slipped out like second nature, as though it was something he had always done. Because it didn't matter that Christopher wasn't his blood, he loved him like his own and would die before he let today be the last time he saw that sweet smile.

The officer pointed toward the group of emergency vehicles, but grabbed Buck by the arm when he went to leave. "I can't just let a civilian into the emergency vehicles."

"Officer, you just acknowledged that I'm an off duty 118 firefighter. I need to get dry clothes. I am freezing and I can't search properly while wrapped in a blanket. Eddie always keeps a spare set in the truck. Would you like to call my husband while he's searching for Christopher and ask his permission?" Buck stared him down, with a raised eyebrow. He hated lying about being married to Eddie, but the officer had already assumed. Besides this might be the only time Buck got to call Eddie his husband.

The officer eyed him warily before nodding and releasing him.

Being back inside the 118 ladder truck, even just to grab Eddie's extra shirt, was surreal. It was all Buck had wanted for months, all he had pushed himself for, but now it didn't even matter. Being a firefighter again didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was Christopher. Finding him alive and getting him back to Eddie. Eddie who had trusted him with his whole world. He couldn't let him down. He needed to find Chris and keep him safe.

Buck tugged on Eddie's spare 118 t-shirt, surprised by how it hung off his shoulders slightly. Before he was hurt, Buck and Eddie were almost the same size and even worked out together a lot, but with his recovery he hadn't been able to work out to the same extent right away. And Eddie had definitely spent that time bulking up. He shivered slightly at the thought of Eddie being bigger than him.

He shrugged off any lingering thoughts about Eddie. This really wasn't the time. Instead he focused on Chris and getting to the secondary mobile hospital by the Cupcakery bakery that a passing doctor had directed him too. He would scour every inch of Santa Monica before he gave up on finding him.

The further he got from the first mobile hospital the more desperate Buck became. His body was starting to fail him. His leg was burning, and his ribs were at the very least bruised. His throat was sore and barely more than a rasp, but he kept shouting for Christopher and pushing through the pain, needing the boy to hear him, even if he couldn't see him.

He limped through the crowd just outside the tents begging anyone for a sign of Chris, when his breath caught in his chest. Just across the street was a little boy with a striped shirt, clinging to a woman.

Christopher.

He shoved himself through the rest of the horde of people, throwing himself to the floor in front of him.

"Christopher!! I'm here. Don't worry. I'm he–" He was cut off mid ramble, by the woman yanking the boy away. And he finally got a glimpse at his face.

Not Christopher.

His vision swam as he stood. He couldn't even muster up the strength to apologize to them. He wasn't going to find him. He would have to tell Eddie that he lost his baby. That it was all his fault. He wasn't strong enough for this. Christopher needed him to be strong, but he couldn't even hold on to him.

A hand on his shoulder dragged him back to reality.

"Mister, are you okay? You're bleeding." The teen pointed down at his arm, which Buck was shocked to see dripping with blood. That was new.

He stumbled back to lean against a car, trying to breathe and keep himself calm.

"Fine. Need to tie it off. Need to find Christopher." He murmured softly, before his vision blurred and he collapsed into the arms of strangers.

Notes:

Thank you to my lovely and amazing Beta, httpstiles.

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