Seduce like Seuss 😵💖🥴👅💦

Introduction: A fateful eve

It was late at night, on Christmas Eve.
The fires were mad litty, the roast beasts were in the who-fridge, and the umbrella-like Christmas trees were folded neatly, sagging low like an old lady's jowls under the weight of all the thingamajigs upon it.
All of these things made the grinch very unhappy.
The grinch had spent months putting his plan together. To break into each and every home in whoville to steal Christmas from the village before the night was over. The holiday made him sick, but this plan was finally going to save him!
After he took his sleigh down from his luxury mountain home, the grinch jumped out and surveyed his land. The houses were silent, the lights out save for the flickering fireplaces, and he thought for a moment that he could even hear the soft twinkling of snowflakes as they met the frozen earth.
Disgusting.
"MAX!" he cried, startling the costumed dog. "Which house do you think should be the first to fall prey to my clever, supple grinchy hands?"
Max's eyes grew solemn with concentration and consideration. He dared not fail his master and tormentor, lest those same supple grinchy hands grow frustrated and cruel. A blank look crossed his dog face just then. His head swung around, antler acting almost as a dowsing rod for some meddling god. Small paws lifted to point at a quiet, unassuming who house at the end of the who street.
"That one?" The grinch mused. Max snapped out of his reverie and ran to hide behind the sled, his task completed. "I suppose it'll do."

Breaking in was easy. Who (lol) leaves a window wide open in the middle of December? It seemed almost as if fate was leading the furry green monster inside that night. He leapt through the window nimbly, a swift dive roll into a deep crouch. Poised on the floor, the grinch concentrated. Limbs tingling, spine lengthening, and fur growing slick, the grinch activated his supernatural powers. As you know, the grinch was created on Walpurgisnacht in 1969, a product of a witch, two different breeds of ape, a dirty sock, a snake, Kermit the frog, the cat in the hat and Nicholas cage mixing their genes together in a turkey baster and squirting it onto a voodoo doll before microwaving the ever loving fuck out of it. (His powers are a mixture of all 8 of his parents powers, but at this moment he is activating the 25 percent of his snake and Kermit DNA)

Finally, he tucked his arms behind his back and began to slide. His grinch liquid allowed him to slither across smooth surfaces without the hindrance of his hay-like fur. Sweeping along the floor with large swoops, the grinch gathered up the holiday paraphernalia in his special Christmas sack.

He was almost done eating the Christmas lights when the pitter patter of tiny who feet sounded from around the corner. Slithering to a standstill, the grinch held his rancid breath. The who rounded into the room and paused, staring into space. Listening. The grinch's jaw hung open like a rusty bear trap. She was beautiful. Standing 3"2, (tall for a who) the who had long curls of dirty blonde hair, which she had to keep tucking behind her who ears so she could see out of her bluey green who eyes. The grinch could see her eyebrows narrow in suspicion, calculating the possibility of there being an intruder in her now "empty of Christmas" living room. Her expression looked like it was deciding something. She left the room then, giving the grinch some time to sigh in relief of having not been caught. She wasn't going to bed yet though.
She passed the hallway one more time, on her way to the kitchen to get some water. Then, it dropped. Her tiny who hands (still too big to fit into the bottom of a Pringle's can) had released a shiny blue pen, which now fell seemingly in slow motion to the hardwood floor. The grinch was still. She bent down, slow but not too slow. He had never seen this happen in real life. There was no time to prepare. Then, she snapped up. The grinch gasped, stupefied by the elusive maneuver. Her head whipped around.

"The bend and snap always works!" She screamed in fear and anger. "I DO BOXING ON TUESDAYS! TIME TO KICK SOME FURRY GREEN ASS!" And then she descended upon him. The grinch jumped to his feet and attempted to run, but the slippery grinch juice had made the floor too slick! He collapsed to the ground, clutching his special Christmas sack. The small who then grabbed a steel pipe and smashed his toothpick lookin twig legs in half.
"EGADS!" The grinch screamed. Then, using her rad gains from boxing class, the who picked him up and flung him out the window and back into his sleigh.
"REMEMBER THIS, YOU SCRAGGLY BITCH! THIS HOUSE IS OLIVIA DODGE-NEON'S TURF AND ONLY JESUS CAN TAKE MY WHEEL!" She screamed into the night, hair flying in a gust of winter wind. The window slammed loudly shut and all was silent once more.
Bleeding all over his sled, the grinch stared up at the stars. His plan had failed. As Max dragged the broken man back up the mountainside, the grinch decided that stealing Christmas could wait. He was coming up with a new plan.

A plan to steal the heart of the who that broke his legs.