Seduce like Seuss 😵💖🥴👅💦

2. Cat in the hat? More like somebody kill me before i finish this grinch story

"Meow" said max uncharacteristically
"Shut the fuck up, wenis goblin" said the grinch.
The grinch was on his merry way to buy some flowers at store. Wikiwho told him that buying flowers is a nice gesture to signal his desire to begin courting Olivia. It had never lead him wrong before. He smacked his head on the sliding doors as he entered the florists shop. The florist was a gentle and caring whoman named swaggie.
"I want 2 flower pls" said grinch.
"What kind?"
"The pretty ones" the grinch said, reading off of some smudged ink on his hand that could have easily also have been blood, dirt or gangrene.
Swaggie turned around, sweeping piles of ugly flowers off of the shelves. She carefully picked up the only nice flowers in her shop and placed them in wrapping paper to go.
The other flowers were ugly because she watered them with natural peanut butter instead of the sweetened stuff.
Disgraceful.
"Do you have money?" Swaggie asked gently and caringly.
"No, but it is for my soulmate," said the grinch. "I'm getting her flowers so I can make her to be my grinch bride."
"UwU I don't fucking think so, you green bitch."
The grinch grabbed the flowers and broke out into a run, dashing out of the store with fear.
"I SAID, UWU I DONT FUCKING THINK SO YOU GREEN BITCH" said swaggie as she pulled out a bazooka and fired several shots into the grinches legs. His casts broke off, to reveal his limp, jelly like legs underneath.
"Curse you whonited states healthcare system!" Cried the grinch. Still, he made it out of the store and into a shady looking alleyway behind a whallmart. 
Gasping for breath, the grinch clutched his jelly legs with agony. He heard a small gasp from across the alley.

"It's you!"

Olivia Dodge-Neon walked out of the darkness, a bottle of Advil in her tiny (but still too big to fit into the bottom of a Pringle's can) hand.
The grinch was blown away by her beauty.
She was shaking nervously because she was nervous.

"You're the gggggggggrinch, aren't you?" She questioned, terror in her voice. "Why are you here? Have you come back to haunt me? Let me s-s-s-s-snort my Advil in peace!" She cried, drug addiction in her voice.

"Please.... call me grichard." Croaked the grinch. "These... are... for... you." He held out his supple grinch hand, 2 pretty flower inside.
"Wow you have supple grinch hands." Olivia asked softly?
"OWOWOWOWOWOOWWIE MY LEGGY HURT SO BADLY" grichard screamed.
Olivia winced, sympathetic to his bazooka shattered legs. After a moment of consideration, she gently slipped an Advil up his nose to ease his pain.
"Thank.... you..." He whispered horsely.
"Don't worry about it. I have 6 more bottles at home."
Then, he fainted. His witch powers made him teleport back to his mountain as soon as he fainted, leaving Olivia in the alleyway,  clutching tightly to her Advil and to her pretty flowers.  Her heart raced with fear. She had just been talking to a monster that has terrorized her people since 1969! Early whovian cave paintings had depicted him eating glass and stealing shit for longer than her civilization had existed! And yet...

It wasn't fear that made her heart skip a beat when her tiny fingers (but still too big to fit into the bottom of a Pringle's can) had brushed his snout when inserting the Advil.

She shook her head. She was just a normal, hard working whoman, (who still lived with her family) and she was moving to Seussstralia soon. There was no time in her schedule for dealing with her confusing new feeiling for grichard. I mean, the grinch!

Flushing bright purple, (whos have purple blood and golden tears) Olivia ran home to start putting stuff in boxes. What had gotten into her?