Obsessed

Chapter 1: Shame

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" said Eric as he lay in his bed staring at the ceiling.

It was early in the morning, and for Eric, a sexually frustrated, now 26-year-old virgin, that always meant he'd be laying in a small puddle of his own semen shortly after waking up. It had become a daily ritual, as much as it shamed Eric to admit it. Every night he'd go to bed thinking himself into a deep slumber. Thoughts of what it would feel like to finally penetrate a vagina, to stick his tongue into one, to get his cock sucked and swallowed, to fuck the shit out of his imaginary partner in every position imaginable, and to watch her smiling back at him after jizzing on her beautiful face. He hardly ever remembered whether or not he had a dream in the morning, but when he did, they were usually continuations of his dirty thoughts from that same night.

However, eternally plaguing both his thoughts and his dreams was her, that girl, the only girl Eric ever truly loved and the source of his post morning masturbation shame: Aniya. She was the one Eric imagined as his partner, he guessed his mind liked cruel jokes because doing so always made him feel upset afterwards. Eric knew how stupid it was to still be obsessing over a girl he had a thing for over 10 years ago in high school, but he couldn't help it. They dated for a few months, and before that they were very close friends. It may not seem like a very long time at all, but for Eric, the short period of time that he and Aniya were close was the happiest he had ever been. One can only imagine his heartbreak when it all came crashing down. It wasn't even the most dramatic of breakups, Aniya kind of just grew more and more distant for seemingly no reason, and when she realized that she was hurting Eric, she wanted to break up. Eric really didn't want to let go but Aniya had already given up, there was no point. Eric had cried himself to sleep that night and for many nights to come, thinking of the mess the rest of his high school life would be from all the sacrifices he made to be with Aniya. He'd been willing to destroy entire friendships to be with her, and now that he knew none of it had been worth it, passing those people in the hallway no longer as a friend but as a stranger or even worse an enemy only served to break his heart even more. And every morning he'd ask himself that same question that he asked the morning of his 26th birthday 10 years later.

Eric finally got out of bed and went to the bathroom to clean himself off. When he was done he splashed water on his face and looked deep into his own hazel eyes. Every morning he asked himself the same question, but he knew the answer, he was still very clearly in love with Aniya whether he liked it or not. She was constantly on his mind, yet thinking about her made him bitter or even angry that their relationship had to end in the first place, especially because of the way that it ended and the awkwardness that ensued not just between them two, but between so many of Eric's friends as well. Since then Eric had never found the willpower within himself to even try to get that close with a potential partner again, and why should he if he can't even move on from his first real girlfriend?

Eric heard his phone vibrate, he assumed it was a happy birthday text from a friend. He dried himself off and went to check. He was right about the content of the text, but texts from this person always gave him a sinking feeling, it was Aniya.