Bullies with benefits - Chaelisa (converted)

PART 32

Stuck.

That's what I am right now. 

Stuck. 

Stuck standing by my cheer friends beside my locker whilst staring at this girl down the hallway talking to her own set of friends, but with a dull look in her eyes. Not being able to be with her makes me see things more clearly now—and it's not just because I like her or anything. 

God, it's so irritating to have that feeling of guilt and depression. I've worked myself years since I was left behind by my parents to go past that, to control those feelings so that it wouldn't affect me in the big world, but I guess there are other things even I can't control. 

Exhibit A, Lalisa Manoban. Hot nerd of this school and the girl that's been playing games inside my head since I've been hyperventilating in Alice's room after that fateful Saturday evening. I wanted to text her—call her, maybe, and even freaking visit her but it's not easy anymore, not since bitch-face Momo came into the picture and opened her mouth, like—couldn't she wait until after I told Lisa?

Which, fine, I wasn't planning to tell her until things got too heavy between the both of us, but now I don't have a chance, and it's unfair. 

Exhibit B, Hirai bitch-face Momo. Somebody better put a leash on my neck because I'm about to knuckle-crunch this bitch's face all the way to Antarctica where she can freeze to death and stay frozen forever. That's what she deserves. 

Sighing, I roll my eyes at my fellow cheerleaders for talking—more like gossiping about the 'latest' new hook-ups in the team which is honestly starting to get frustrating with hearing the same names over and over again like—we don't already know they've been humping in the back seat.

"How about you Captain?" 

I snap my eyes to Yeri who's watching me intently, making the others look at me as well, and I nearly cringe at how disgusting I feel under their piercing, judgemental gazes. Shrugging my shoulders, I tilt my head back. "I just broke up with Wonpil, give me some time to myself, Lizard." I hiss, ignoring how Momo narrows her eyes at me like she's trying to solve a puzzle—which I totally am, the only difference is? I can never be solved. 

Yeri huffs and crosses her arms together. "You've been more bitchy that usual—and that's saying something." She growls, earning a few hesitant nods from the other girls who whimper around us like goddesses. And really, I'm not surprised she'd talk to me this way—rumor has it she's the next head cheerio when I leave this awful, forsaken school. And I guess you could say Yeri and I talk as if we're each other's copies.

  "I got my period, go sue me." I taunt back, gritting my teeth together as I side-eye Lisa down the hall again but this time she's zipping her bag close and walking to our direction, with downcast eyes. I know her next class—it's two doors down from where we're standing and I feel all the breath being sucked out of my lungs when she passes by us with Nayeon on her left and I smell her vanilla waft perfume.

She's so intoxicating, it's annoying. 

Pushing myself off the wall, I ignore the cheerleader's suspicious looks and walk fast—grabbing Lisa's arm and bringing her to a corner where it's kind of secluded. I place her by the lockers and peek around to see if anyone would be following us, keeping a secured hold of her arm as I feel her—not squirming against my touch which was weird because I'd think she'd slap me by now. 

Exhaling, I turn to her and watch as she avoids my eyes by looking at the water fountain behind us. I bite my lip and curse at myself to say something because idiot, you grabbed her.

"Hi." I breathe out, caressing her soft skin as I leave my left hand around her arm. 

She doesn't reply, her eyes aren't as brown as I admired them to be and her face is blank—almost like the soul has been ripped out of her body.