Hallucinations [Lynn Gunn gxg | CG/L]

Chapter 1

"I always knew... there was never a time that I didn't know," I said softly to the doctor perched in front of me, on the edge of her seat. Her glasses were nearing the tip of her nose as they slid down further and further as time went on. It honestly made me want to push my own spectacles higher onto the bridge of my nose.

"You say you always knew about being gay?" she rephrased, a trick most psychologists use that I have noticed during our talks.

"Yes," I replied, quieter than before. I glanced over at the clock for what seemed like the thousandth time. As much as I wanted to get well mentally, I couldn't stand talk therapy. She went on a long tangent as I stared down at my feet, the tattered boots on my feet were much more interesting than listening to her speech about... self acceptance? loving yourself? I wasn't quite sure what the take home message was from her, all I knew was that our session was almost over, and I couldn't wait to leave.

"Well that's all we have time for today, Iris, thank you for your candor today," she said, shaking my hand quickly before standing and opening her office door for me. I stood quickly and scooted my way past her as quickly as I could. I raked my fingers through my short hair, knowing as soon as the fall wind hit me, my pixie cut would be a huge mass of frizz.

I stepped down the stairs of the medical office building and made my way up the sidewalk to the bus stop. After a few painstaking minutes of braving the brisk breeze, I made it to the shelter at the bus stop. I took a seat on the bench and checked my watch. Lo and behold, the damn doctor had made me miss the first bus headed back to my apartment complex. I pulled my jacket around myself tighter, my bones aching from the feel of the cold. Why is it so fucking cold? It's only Octo-

"Mind if I sit here?" I heard from a melodic voice beside me, shaking me from my internal bitching. I looked up, the sun glinting in my eyes, shining off of the young woman's bright blonde hair. It was her, it was Lyndsey. What is she doing back in this area? I thought her band was touring. God she's so stunning, she looked even better than the pictures I'd see on her bands page on Instagram. She's a goddess among mortals...

"Can I sit??" she asked with a small laugh, tearing me from my thoughts again.

"Oh... uh- yeah... sorry," I replied meekly. She smiled and sat beside me, glancing over at me. I couldn't look at her, I had always had a thing for Lyndsey, ever since high school when I moved here, she was always the kindest and most wonderful person to everyone she encountered. But I always watched from afar. We had only spoken a handful of times, but each time it sent my heart soaring.

"You're Iris," she said, cocking a half smile at me, "Lynn, we went to school together."

"We did," I replied softly, braving myself to look up at her. She smiled more and looked over my face, I started to chew my lip as her eyes searched my face.

"You look so much different, but I guess so do I," she said with a loud chuckle. I started to smile and nodded, looking up at her fully now. "I love the hair, it really suits you."

In high school I always had hair down to my stomach, but as soon as I moved out of my mothers house, I chopped it all off. "Thank you so much," I replied, running my fingers over my choppy bangs. "I thought you were touring? What are you doing back?"

"Gotta get my meds refilled somehow," she said with another soul tingling chuckle. I laughed softly and nodded,  completely understanding the struggle. "Hey if you want, here's my number, maybe we could catch up some since I've seen you last?" She said, using a pen from her jacket to take my hand and write down the digits on my skin. I could feel my arms legs start to tingle and the sensation moved all over my body as the pen tip effortlessly grazed over my skin.

"Sure, I would love that," I replied with a small smile.

"You better text me," she said, smiling goofily as she stood, releasing my fingers as she pocketed her pen. Little did Lynn know, I was dying to text her as soon as she walked up the street towards the large hotel on the corner of the block. I have to play it cool... I have to do this right...

Don't fuck it up, it's all you're good at...