Same Drugs (Billy Hargrove)

reconcile

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Billy Hargrove's car was not where I had expected to be at the end of prom night. We grabbed paper napkins from a table and got a majority of the paint off of me. The night supremely sucked so far, and all I wanted was to go home a cry. I wouldn't let myself though. I didn't allow myself to cry. When we were done cleaning me up a little, we got into the car and Billy drove away from the school at an alarmingly high speed. I ignored it though. I was almost numb to the feeling of just about anything after the incident. 

Billy noticed that I was quiet and decided to turn on some music as we flew down the road. He didn't know much about consoling people for extended periods of time, which was fine, but right then, I didn't know what to do with myself. 

I let a tear slip, a single tear, and I thought about everything. Sam McAllister was the one who vandalized my locker with those harsh words after I confided in him and told him about hooking up with Billy. It pained me to think that someone I considered so close was the one to turn around and stab me in the back. He embarrassed me in front of the entire school, but I didn't have a way to get revenge on him just yet. 

Billy pulled into a wooded area and parked his car, the lights inside dimming before shutting off completely. "What are we doing here?" I asked, unsure of how the situation was going to turn around. 

"The lights are off now," He said, and I chuckled a little. "Yeah, I know." 

"I can't see the paint, is what I mean," He clarified. 

"Y'know, I can't really see it either," I said sarcastically, not sure what he was getting at. 

"I'm not really good at this type of shit, so I'm gonna get to the point. Sam's an asshole of the highest order, and all I've wanted to do for months was tell you that it was him, but there were factors working against me, alright? He threatened me-" 

"He threatened you?" I said, not believing for a second that Sam could scare Billy in any way shape or form. He rolled his eyes, "Would you let me finish?" I shrugged, allowing him to continue, and he sighed. 

"He threatened me by threatening you. He told me that if I ever told you that he was the one that did the locker and rumor-spreading, he would hurt you," Billy admitted. 

I was shocked. I never pegged him as the violent type. Sure he was a guy, and sure he might've been rough with his friends, but I never thought he'd even think about being that way with me maliciously. 

"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't want to believe it, but Billy's suppressed groan made it sort of obvious. "You think I'm lying?" He asked, and I shook my head. 

We were quiet after that. We fell into a comfortable silence that made my heart rate quicken at even the slightest sound made. Even the tiniest made me look in his direction. He seemed to be thinking the same way because every time I would shift in my seat, his head would make small movements towards me. 

Suddenly, he leaned towards me in one swift motion and kissed me. I felt knots in my stomach loosen and disappear completely. I didn't expect my night to take such a drastic turn. I knew I should be at home, pouting, beside myself, but I was numb at this point. Numb and unwilling to think about what the entire school had witnessed, I kissed harder and harder against the boy who whisked me away from humiliation. My thoughts melted away into him, and I again became encompassed in the feeling of euphoria that was pumping through my skin. 

My cheeks were hot, and I could feel that his cheeks were too. I blushed and he put another hand under my jaw, now cupping my face with both hands, the kissed becoming hungrier. I couldn't stop the ugly thoughts though, no matter how hard I tried. 

Another tear slipped down my face, and Billy noticed immediately. "What happened? Are you okay?" He asked as I continued to let a few more tears slip. I thought I could keep the pain at bay, but it crept up on me in the even the most blissful of moments. 

"He must've really fucking hated me," I murmured. "He was my best friend for years, but I guess when he moved away, something in him changed. I mean, this is just my luck. Nobody seems to want me, ever." 

"That's not true. What do you think I'm doing here?" Hargrove said, looking at me with serious eyes. "I'm not wasting my time or screwing around with you for fun. I'm here because I care about you. I always have, ever since we first met. You were nice to me, in your own way," He said, poking fun at the joking banter we would always exchange. "I was tough to deal with, I'm not denying that at all, but you put up with me," He finished. 

"I feel like such total crap, though," I said, and he cocked his head slightly. "Why?" 

"I blamed you immediately for the locker thing when absolutely none of that was your fault," I said, ashamed of myself. "Yeah, that stung a little bit, but it's okay," He chuckled. 

We kissed again and then Billy started his car and we began to drive again. "Thank you for tonight," I said. Keeping his eyes on the road, he responded, "No problem. I love y- spending time with you! Yeah, I love spending time with you." 

I chuckled, "Me too." 

Looking out the window, I got drowsier and drowsier until I fell asleep to the hum of the Camaro engine that Billy Hargrove was trying his hardest to keep quiet for me.