Restoration

4. Disclosure

The week came and went at its usual pace, and I found myself virtually in front of Damond again.

"How was your week James? Anything of note happen?"

I thought back to the past several days.

"The week started out good – I think I was doing well. Then it got harder and things went back to how they've always been," I answered truthfully.

I had become discouraged at Patience's apathy towards my starting counseling. I understood that our time together had been hard so far, but I had expected some amount of response from her.

"It's ok. I think it's good that you already are trying to make changes. We'll build off of that moving forward. I want you to take a look at a worksheet I'm emailing to you now. Print it off, spend a few minutes doing it, and then we'll discuss."

I did as he asked and began reading it.

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Instructions: Read each item and think about whether you have ever acted in this way towards Patience. Circle or check each item you have done. Remember being thoughtful and honest about your past is essential to change.*

- Yelling

- Swearing

- Put-downs and name-calling

- Humiliating her in public

- Criticizing her behavior, feelings, or ideas

- Pressuring her to forget or "get over" your negative actions towards her

- Setting rules for her

- Controlling the money in the house

- Accusing her of having affairs

- Punching walls

- Throwing objects

- Slapping

- Punching

- Pulling hair

- Using sexually degrading language

- Forcing her to prostitute herself

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I skimmed down the list, feeling the tension growing in my forehead. My eyes jumped to the bottom of the sheet.

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From the above list, write down the two most common behaviors that you have done.

1.

2.

From the above list, write down the two most destructive behaviors that you have done.

1.

2.

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"What the hell is this sheet?" I demanded. I didn't have a good feeling about where he was going with this.