𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐛𝐲.

i remember all of the things that i thought i wanted to be

(small heath)
1| welcome death

+++

(italics = thoughts)

Footsteps could be heard across the cobbled stones, a body desperately trying to shield themselves from the harsh November winds.

10:46 pm

A dangerous time for a woman to be out in small heath, nothing good was left in it after the war. The men left good and came back as the devil's henchmen. The women and the children were the collateral, 4 years worrying, 4 years yearning, 4 years praying, 4 years filling in the shoes of the men. Just for them to come back and claim it all. Not a single thank you.

" it's time you become a wives again," was what the factory owner smugly said, looking down at us from his office,after news broke out that the war had ended.

Fuck the men were coming back.

You might as well have thought of the men as dead or half-dead in some cases, shells of there former selves nothing much to love, but you try till your fucking hardest, forever tied to them due to marital bondage and society's judgment.So you hide the pain with stolen moments in the closet with tears rolling down wondering what went wrong.

That's why I killed mine. Made it look like suicide of course. Jumped right of the side of the river thames with a helping hand. No one questioned it they all knew he wasn't right in the head after the war much like the other men in London.

Once upon a time I had loved him,don't get me wrong, he was the sweetest I made girls jealous all the way from Portsmouth to Inverness, but I had soon quickly learnt love was a fickle minded thing used to keep naive girls fools just like her former self hostage from one kidnapper to the next.

*

The apartment was small, but she liked small and cosy, there was a good amount of windows incase she needed a quick escape. She lifted a floorboard near her bed and placed the bag of weapons she had brought with her. After making sure her weapons were secure and unnoticable she set her gaze to her bed almost moaning at the sight of it, rolling her shoulders she pulled the dress over her head and through it on a chair she had in the corner and slid into bed in just her underwear, the plush duvet cocconing her from the cold winds.

And it was moments like these she thought of him.

The first time she had laid eyes on Thomas Shelby, it wasn't a wow moment, unlike the other girls around small heath moaning his name like he was fucking them there. She did have to admit he was pretty to look at, very renaissance painting type. But she didn't have time for pretty boys playing a childs game as they always carried the most darkness behind their facade that seeped through their custom made tailored suit. But who was she? but another black girl trying to make coin.

*

Today's goal: find a job in this dump.

Walking through the smoke filled roads, confident in her strides, She had heard about the job at the bar down the road called the Garrison. So that was the first on her quest. She reached the double doors of the bar, fingers pressed up against the crevices ingrained into the door and proceeded to push it forward into the establishment.
It was a dark setting depressing almost if it wasn't for the little ray of sun that emerged through a little crack in the ceiling, the men within all sat scattered across the bar all dull looking.

Getting to the bar front she rhythmically tapped her fingers on the wet wood waiting for someone to appear, and thankfully she didn't have to wait long before a man around his late 40s with deep lines almost scar like marring his face much like his frown, his figure stocky with hair and freckles dusting dusting his arms.
Parisa had made a sound indicating her presence to his oblivious self.

" I heard there was a job opening." Parisa confidently spoke making herself known.

" Where '0u 'hear that?"

"It was in the paper yesterday." Parisa said her elbow placed on the wet wood.

"your too pretty to work here" harry breathed out in a puff while looking at her up and down."they'll 'ave yous against the wall"

"me being pretty brings you more work love, and don't worry about those men i'll sort them out." a cocky Parisa claimed, noting the shocked look on the barmans face.

There was a pregnant silence, both staring at each other one in etermination and the other in confusion.

" It's your choice darling." Harry knew that he couldn't sway the exotic looking woman. "so 'ow soon can you work eh"

"now"