Caspar - The Half Blood Princess

Chapter Five - Prophesies and Confessions

Things for Severus had livened up again. Lily and James weren't around as often as they used to be but they still visited three or four times a week. According to Lily, Sirius had all but moved in with them since Harry had been born and, as much as she loved him, he was driving her mad. "James matured very quickly after we married" she explains, helping Severus fold Caspar's clean clothes "but Sirius is still a child. I think it's because of how he was raised."

"What" Severus snorts, placing a newly folded stack of all in one vests into the chest of drawers "poor little rich boy didn't get all the toys he wanted when he was growing up?"

"His childhood was much like yours actually" Lily replies carefully. "His family were all pureblood fanatics who thought that muggle borns were, well" she sighs "you know what they think of muggle borns. Dirty blood."

Severus cringed at the reference and shuffled uncomfortably "you know that I don't share those opinions, don't you?"

"I know, Severus. Anyway, he was one of the few in his family who wasn't sorted into Slytherin and by few I mean that you could count the rest on one hand. He hated going back to that house so he spent as much time as he could at James' but you of all people know how it feels to not belong."

"I didn't know" Severus mutters, wondering if he'd judged Black too harshly.

"And there was no need for you to know but, Severus, I am by no means condoning his behaviour toward you whilst we were all at school but I think that you reminded him of the family he hated. You were sorted into Slytherin, you slipped deeper and deeper into the dark arts with each passing year, you called me a-"

"Don't" he whispered.

"Anyway" she looks at him "I think that the hatred he felt about you was born from the hatred he felt for his family." Severus was just about to say something when she cut him off "I know it doesn't excuse his behaviour, Severus, but surely it explains it?"

All Severus could do was grunt in reply as he continued to pluck through the pile of baby clothes. "Do you know anyone who's expecting a baby girl?" He asks, changing the subject "I have a large bundle that Caspar has grown out of and I'd rather they go to someone in need of them. I'm not likely to need them again."

"And why not?" Lily asks, raising her eyebrows "you don't think that you'll find a nice woman to keep you warm at night?"

"I think the chance would be a fine thing" he rolls his eyes.

"You would be a catch for any woman, Sev, you just need to open yourself up a bit more."

"I think" he says slowly "that Caspar is enough for me right now."

Lily purses her lips "Severus, you, like most human beings, have needs."

"And those are my needs to worry about" Severus tells her curtly, unwilling to discuss his sex life, or lack thereof, with the woman he was in love with.

"Well ok then, Mr Grumpy" it was her turn to roll her eyes. "Anyway, in regards to the clothes, I know that Molly and Arthur are holding out hope for a girl."

"Molly and Arthur Weasley?! Don't they have twenty children already?"

"Six is hardly twenty" Lily scoffs "and anyway, they have six boys, I don't blame Molly for wanting a girl." Severus thought about it for a moment and gawked at the idea having six girls to take care of; of course he'd love them all but girls come with a lot more issues than boys. At this thought, he started to sweat. "What did I say?" Lily asks, noticing his panic.

"Caspar's a girl!" He says.

She frowned "I'm glad you noticed..."

"She's a girl, Lily, how am I supposed to raise a girl? I don't know anything about girls or how they...develop."