Tuesday, September 11th, 2001

04

𝕽

Jasper.

He's in the south tower.

A tear slides down my cheek as I stare in utter despair and horror.

My baby. He very well may have just been killed or injured, even trapped.

I release the most inhuman sound I've made in my life, sounding like a kicked puppy as my knees give out and I end up on the floor. Tears stream down my cheeks, no noises escaping my mouth. The flow of tears worsens as I think of Micheal, Marie, my god Kyle never even crossed my mind earlier.

Sara and Austin kneel beside my still body, frozen in shock.

They envelop me in a hug as the rest stare at the television in complete and utter shock.

I still don't release a sob as the two continue to hug me.

"He's okay, he has to be, they have to be," I whisper in denial of the possibility.

"They'll be okay," Sara whispers, just as scared for our friends and my fianceé.

"They have to be," I repeat like a broken record.

I slowly stand after a few minutes.

Code 52213 is in place and that is a big deal. Once we are on Air Force One, I can break down, but not now.

I shake my head and wipe the tears away before marching towards our vehicle, a purpose in my step as my eyes practically bleed with pain.

Sorrow seeps from every pore in my body as I start the engine and Sara hurries after me as everyone else's gaze follows my retreating form.

I turn the key in the ignition before speeding as quick as is legal, hurrying back to our hotel.

"Do you want to-" Sara goes to say but I snap, cutting her off.

"No, Sara, I don't want to talk about it, because believe me, that's the last thing I need right now!" I exclaim anger in my tone. The rest of the ride is silent and awkward and before we knew it, we're back.

We each hurry to exit the vehicle and enter our rooms. I quickly throw everything I brought with me into my suitcases and hurry downstairs, placing my security earpiece into my ear in the elevator.

We each quickly throw our bags into the back of the car before quickly speeding off to the president's hotel.

After a moment of driving, I feel very remorseful for snapping at Sara earlier. It definitely isn't her fault.

"Hey, I'm sorry about biting your head off back there, I'm just... really really stressed right now," I saw with a sigh.

"It's fine, I get it, I would've done the same thing in your shoes," she comforts me, being the understanding person she is.

We reach the hotel and see four other agents standing in the lobby.

I check my watch and we're early as it's only 9:20.

Within the next ten minutes, all of the others including Austin show up, as do the president's personal escorts, with the president's luggage. We load the presidential vehicle as one of the personal escorts checks him out of his room. At that point, Austin, another unit's SAIC, and the two personal escorts go upstairs, retrieving and escorting President Bush downstairs.

The escort vehicles are then adorned with their flag hood ornaments and the agents, including myself and Sara, fill the escort vehicles. President Bush, Austin, his personal escorts, and the other SAIC file into the presidential vehicle.

Once we arrive to the airport where Angel is, we all immediately jump out of the cars and get to work placing the luggage where the loading personal will equip Angel with all of our bags.

The president boards Angel, shortly followed by the rest of us in order by rank.

Sara and the other radio monitor head to their cockpit, as do the presidential pilots.

The president settles into a seat as the rest of us prepare ourselves for anything, and turn the newsfeed back on.

Angel takes off at 9:57 AM, approximately two minutes before we all watch on in horror as the south tower collapses into the streets of Manhattan. Tears fill my eyes as I realize if they haven't evacuated yet, they have just been killed. And as the dust plumes over the city, I worry that if they haven't just been killed by the tower, they will choke on that smoke and dust cloud of doom, a symbol of destruction.

I once again collapse, this time onto one of the couches in Angel. Tears stream down my face and this time, sobs and hiccups escape my throat alongside them. I'm terrified of all the possibilities.

My vision goes black as my breath quickens.

All the thoughts in my head no longer seeming to circulate my brain, but rather attack it.

I feel my heart pounding almost out of my chest, and all I hear is Austin trying to coax me to come back.

"Can you hear me, Robin?" he asks quietly, not wanting to startle me more.

I nod rapidly.

"Can you see me?" he asks.

I shake my head no.

"Can I touch you?" he asks.

I shake my head no violently.

"Okay, can you breathe for me, and focus on my voice?" he asks me.

I hesitantly nod.

"Deep breathes, in, out, in, out, in, out," he says, making my breathing pattern start to normalize.

He starts softly murmuring a lullaby, something he would sing his daughter at night after a nightmare.

It soothed me.

I slowly but surely come back to normal, still crying and shaking.

"You okay?" he asks, my sight now coming back to see him crouching in front of the sofa I was on, a few other agents looking on in concern.

I nod slowly.

"You sure?" he asks again.

"No," I hoarsely whisper, before launching myself into the man who's like a brother to me's arms, my head buried in his shoulder as I let sobs out, scared of the chance of my last words to my fianceé being in a fight.

And that thought haunts me more than anything else.