37 | deal

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Between her thumb and forefinger a strawberry is balanced. Elena brings the fruit to her lips as she opens her mouth and bites it off leaving nothing but the stalk. Her eyes close for a short moment, her curly lashes touching her cheekbone as she savors its sweet and sour flavor. Her other hand is tucked behind her syrup stained plate. She licks her strawberry juice coated lips and I get this undeniable urge of wanting to kiss her.

"You know what we forgot?" I say attempting to occupy my mind with something else other than her sweet luscious lips. Elena looks at me blankly. "Your Gummy Bears!" I exclaim, remembering how I promised her we'd get her candy first thing today.

"Aw, you remembered." She moons. "It's okay, I forgot all about it too."

Of course I forgot all about it. I spent an entire night with her. We slept on the same bed. I dreamt of her.

"I'm curious about you." She starts. "Tell me about you."

There really is nothing entertaining about my life. "What do you want to know?"

"I don't know, tell me about your family." She suggests and I inwardly cringe.

"My dad is despicable, my step-mom is a bitch and my step siblings are even bigger assholes." I say without thinking and Elena gasps.

"Oh, I-I-" she rambles cutely "family is a sensitive subject isn't it?"

Sort of. "It's something I don't like talking about."

"I understand," she says her tone empathetic. There's no shred of pity or false concern. It's as if she actually knows what's happening with me under the surface and to be honest it kind of scares me. "My family isn't... any good either."

That sparks my interest. "Really?"

"Well, yeah... I kind of grew up in a toxic household. My mom slept around, she wasn't there when her family needed her the most. She was always hiding her cellphone, she locked herself up in the bedroom, she pushed me away whenever I asked her what was for dinner. Her behavior overall was suspicious. She thought that since I was little I wouldn't grasp the situation but she wrong apparently. And my dad was working all day so I guess was kind of neglected from a young age." Elena explains. I nod and gesture her to continue when she intertwines her fingers and clears her throat. "There used to be a lot of fighting in my house, but thankfully not to the point of physical violence." Her voice is turning kind of hoarse as she proceeds telling me about her childhood years.

"And I always thought of myself as a coward because I never attempted to stop them. I was scared of them. I didn't like it when there was yelling and screaming. All the accusing, finger pointing and the guilt tripping made me sick-I was so sad and depressed living there."

I stare at her astonished. Her childhood years were also tough. "I know the feeling."

"My mom remarried." She adds. "He's rich so that was all it took for him to have her attention. My step sister on the other hand...she's great. She's very protective of me."

"I used to cry a lot you know?" Elena says. Her eyes are glimmering under the sunlight that invades the kitchen from the window. "I still cry but not as often as I used to. God I hate crying."

I hate crying too. "Why?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "I hate feeling small. Fragile. Weak." Her fists clench on the table.

At this moment it's like I'm staring at the other half of me. All this time, she's been sharing these important details, fragments of her inner thoughts and I already feel like I know her. I know her better than my own self.

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