𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘

103 | panic attack

Elena's POV

"I'm afraid we are out of options here sweetheart," Jungkook tells me, his voice warm and velvety holding fragments of caution as his fingers interlock around the white coffee mug. He raises the delicate china up to his perfectly plump bottom lip and with a slight tilt he takes a sip from his hot double shot espresso while I sigh and sink into my chair, blankly staring at the translucent fabrics of smoke my cappuccino emits into the sweet atmosphere of the coffee shop we're currently hanging at during our free period.

He gazes out the window and narrows his eyes at something that catches his attention then starts tapping his fingers on the wooden table. I can sense his nervousness and that makes me want to ask him what's wrong, but I'm not in the mood to talk right now. Instead, my eyes follow his out on the busy street. People walk back and forth from every possible direction, cold coloured cars blend into the streets and dash through cemented ribbons like speeding bullets and for some reason that causes me anxiety. The sound of the little bell chiming behind me causes me to shake uncomfortably and Jungkook looks back at me and smiles warmly, before his dark orbs fly behind me.

My legs are crossed and my face is resting against my palms, my emotional state as gray and murky as the dirty marble coloured sky outside. But at least there are feeble rays of hope radiating from across of me, lightening the situation only a little bit, but like they say a little can go a long way and I'm grateful he's sitting right here with me. I know my situation is royally fucked and I'm probably not going to escape Seokjin's asphyctic hold. I even missed my nights at the Golden Closet the past several days, because of my stress and that results in me losing precious money for groceries and rent.

I feel like crying a damn river. I would rather hide and never see the light of day than nod my head in submission, crawling on the ground chasing over mere breadcrumbs he's willing to throw at me. Funnily enough, those breadcrumbs are made of gold but the hand that is throwing them at me belongs to a person that views people as mere lifeless objects and I don't want to get caught up in the tangled web he weaves.

"I know you don't want to involve too many people, but confrontation will not convince Jin to quit blackmailing you." Jungkook continues in a lower tone as I sit there in silence, wondering what my life is going to become in a matter of days. "As much as I'd love to barge into his fancy penthouse and beat the living hell out of him, it will only make things worse and I don't want to risk getting you into that shit hole anytime soon."

I let out a deep sigh that has been sitting on my shoulders, but it doesn't help get rid of the fear and the stress from hovering like vultures in my head. Jungkook keeps talking but I'm no longer on the same page as him. He's saying something about wanting to ram Seokjin's head against a brick wall and about keeping me safe from him, but the words are drowning out. His voice becomes more and more quiet as the seconds go by and I'm frozen in my own mind. I can see his mouth move, but no words come out of it. His hand gestures seem slower from my perspective and he blinks once, twice, three times and for that reason it causes my heart to race, only not in the bittersweet way that I've grown accustomed to.

"We need to tell Taehyung." He continues. "The sooner we let him in on everything that is going on, the quicker we will be able to act."

My blood feels cold and I feel like my head lacks warmth. I'm cold, yet I'm not shivering. Gooseflesh forms on the surface of my skin. The shakiness in my breathing is audible to the point that it echoes in my head muting Jungkook's words. My lungs feel like they're clogged and my sternum feels oddly bruised. In this moment my entire body feels abused, even though it's untouched and I'm not supposed to feel any sort of discomfort, and yet this uneasiness, this pain is still there. I want to breath but when I inhale I'm hurting. Fuck, I can't breathe- I'm groaning in pain and I'm screaming inside my head because I feel like no one can listen if I say shit out loud. I want to get up and go to the restroom for some peace and quiet away from something as simple and mundane as a small crowd in a coffee house, but I can't find it in myself to move a muscle. How long am I going to stay frozen?