Second Chances ("School 2015: Who Are You" TaeBi Fanfiction)

I. Leaving

"Lee Eun Bi."

I stopped in my tracks, my shoes digging into the wet soil as I did.

"What is it, Gong Tae Kwang?"

I felt his eyes boring into my skull, but I did not turn. I did not want to see what I was throwing away. Us. His love. My happiness.

"Wouldn't you look at me?" His voice was full of hurt. "I know. You don't have to say it. I know you can't look at me the way I look at you. But-"

There's a slight catch in his voice. I dug my heels deeper. I did not want to see him hurt. But what are you doing now, my mind taunted. You're hurting him by saying goodbye.

He cleared his throat, before speaking once more. "I know everything. You don't have to feel burdened by my feelings. We can pretend that I never said anything. Just don't leave, Eun Bi. Please."

"Ya, Gong Tae Kwang." This time, I turned to him. He had to understand that I was not leaving because of him. He did not deserve the guilt. "It isn't your fault. I just have to do this. As stupid as it sounds, I need to find myself first. I need to make a name for myself, not as Go Eun Byul, but as Eun Bi. I need to establish my own identity."

I took a step towards him, while he watched me warily. "Back then in Tongyeong, all I knew was isolation and misery. Then when I came here to Seoul as Eun Byul, I felt for the first time what it means to have friends and family who have your back. But I gained all that because of my sister's name. They treated me well because to them, I was Go Eun Byul." My voice sounded wistful even to my very ears. "But you-" I hesitated. Stupid mouth. Should I really tell him at this time?

"What? Me-what is it that you want to say?"

"You were the one person who saw me as Lee Eun Bi. The first one who called me by my real name. The one person with whom I can be anyone and not be judged. Even when you knew who I was, you still stuck by my side. So thank you for being that person for me."

He stood silent for a moment. "Anyone would have done the same if they had met you."

I bowed my head. We both know it wasn't true.

"Perhaps." I turned to him, forcing a smile on my face as I looked at him. His eyes, I thought, were the ones that gave him away easily. They were beautiful-but right now, they held so much sadness. Because of you, my mind chided. Shut up, I retorted.

"Ya, I know I'm handsome, but really, you should stop staring." There it was, his usual sarcasm and nonchalance. My heart lifted just a bit and my smile widened.

"I'll be back soon, Gong Tae Kwang. Don't miss me too much, yeah?"

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed.

"I'll try my best, Eun Bi."