Were You Expecting Flowers? ✔️

30

But there, is a light
In the dark, and I feel its warmth
In my hands, and my heart
Why can't I hold on?
It comes and goes in waves
__________________

I WRAPPED my own arms around me. I realized it was a habit of mine- whenever I felt the need to protect myself from a wall of emotions that was close to toppling down.

Evie sat me down at a bench near the academic building entrance. Her manner suggested she was more than ready to hear what I had to say.

But I didn't know what to say. I wordlessly stared at her.

"You can take your time." Evie said soothingly, rubbing my shoulder.

"I just-" I pulled my arms in tighter around me. "I don't know if I can say it."

Mal appeared, looking around until she spotted us. "Can I join you guys?"

"Sure." I said.

"I know something's wrong, Brae." Mal said softly, sitting on the other side of me, "And I really want to help..."

I smiled, getting a little teary eyed. "Thank you."

The two of them fell silent, waiting for me to tell them what was happening, but again I couldn't find the guts to actually say it out loud because saying it out loud makes it real and I don't want to-

"Do you want me to say it?" Evie asked.

"Huh?"

The blue haired girl paused, then spoke. "You like Carlos, don't you?"

My mind went completely blank.

"What?" I spluttered.

Hearing it out loud wasn't exactly what I expected either.

"I'm very... experienced in this type of thing." Evie was smiling nervously, "The Evil Queen actually teaches me how to differentiate these kind of stuff..." She cocked her head to the side. "So? Am I right?"

I just gawked at her.

"Brae?" Mal questioned.

"Yes- No. I don't know?" I buried my head in my hands, "I'm a mess, that's for sure. I'm convinced my brain is just playing tricks on me."

"Would you say that you... love him?" Evie asked.

"E!" Mal protested, a hint of playfulness in her voice, "Slow down. You'll mess her up even more."

"Sorry." Evie said to me, "I can't put words in your mouth, Brae. But there's nothing wrong with having feelings for Carlos."

"We don't know that yet." I managed to say.

"You're in denial." Evie said.

I sighed. "Maybe I am. I don't know. It's just so strange. It's making me analyze every little thing he does."

Mal smiled. "Maybe he likes you back."

"No. Don't give me false hope." I whined.

Amidst all the foreign emotions and serious conversations, I found talking to Evie and Mal about boy problems kind of interesting.

"He likes Jane." I said, bringing my legs up and wrapping my arms around my knees, "And I can't even be mad at her- she's a sweet girl."

Mal raised her eyebrows. "Why'd you think that?"

"He said he's asking her to cotillion." I groaned, "I really don't want to get my hopes up... I mean, not that I care..."

Evie gave me a look as if to say You're in denial again.