Recover Faliure [Hoseok × Ot6]

02

🔞Mature content ahead!!🔞
[Implied Masterbation??]

*Mature*

The sound of the clock is starting to get on my nerve. The repetitive tick giving less time till the end. The sheets in front of me are all blurry, the words jumping across the page.

My eyes can’t focus on one sentence without running somewhere else. The reports and receipts scattered across my desk, I lay my head atop of them.

My head is pounding from crying too much earlier. Everything is blurry, like looking through the lenses of smudged glasses...in rain....in a light filled city. I let my emotions get the best of me .  As always I failed myself , not even living up to my own expectations ,  even worse the expectations of others . I'm not supposed to be ... Emotional over this but yet here I am crying over some stupid boy .  No he's not stupid, I'm the one who's stupid .  He's smart and got out of this before it was too late .

I rubbed my eyes and tried to focus back my vision, swiping the papers into a drawer with my arm. My face is hot and there are little imprints from my sleeve on my cheek.

I miss him already. I know me and him had nothing special, that our relationship was purely based off of sex. Nothing more, no strings attached. That was the deal.

So why can I get over him?

I just want to feel his gentle touch again. To feel the soft kisses he would litter down my neck. The would caress me, running his hands up and down my back and along my sides. I would run my fingers through his hair and climb up into his lap, helpless and needy. I find myself like this again, pressing my legs together and whining.

Why am such a slut?

It's as if these sins are constantly flooding my mind, overtaking my thoughts and swarming me with desire.

"H-hobi w-wants Jiminie." I cry softly, my inner desires calling out for the other and sinking into some unwanted and awful headspace. But he is happy now.

So why cant I be happy for him? 

I rub my legs together and grind my hips against my chair, crying out softly, actual stupid tears streaming again down my rosy and hot cheeks.

"W-want m-my J-jiminie !!"

___________________________________
[TRIGGER WARNING?: SEMI-ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP]

9:03 Hoseoks home

3rd P.O.V

Hoseok laid down on his couch, passed out , a spilt and shattered wine glass to the side of the couch. Bruises covered his arms and cigarette burn scars decorated his arms.

Another male sat on the other side of the couch, smoking a cigarette and scrolling through his phone. The smoke stained curtains stayed slightly as wind blew through the apartment, the sounds of cars, city sounds, and soft jazz music playing from the apartment below. The sounds were sweet, multiple genres of music blending together to fill the streets with noise then to enter the windows  and fill the empty and silent room  with music again. The notes of the music bouncing and dancing off every surface.

The dark apartment was messy, but oddly comforting. Neon lights from the building close next door made their way into the apartment and left pretty reflecting flows off all the reflective surfaces, adding color to red, brown, and grey dull room. The apartment looker straight from some egdy Lo-fi album cover. Perfectly matching that kind of aesthetic .

There were newspapers and magazines spread across the coffee table, and open winebottle on the floor, and the walls were decorated with brewery bottles and vinyl records of old jazz bands. The apartment was clean, but messy, comforting, and quiet.  If any of that even make sense.

The dimmed soft whitish beige lights flickered and lit up the open room with just enough light to not be creepy, but not bright. Like some old bar filled with a bunch of drunk people playing pool, nice jazz music playing, and some old man trying to get the bartender's number.

Everything was warm and comforting, oddly homely even though the only scents smelt was smoke and a pumpkin candle lit to try to eliminate the smell.

The man across from hoseok blew out a cloud of smoke then put out the bud on hoseoks already scarred up thighs. Hoseok woke up abruptly with a little whimper, while most would argue, he loved the feeling of it however. He sat up and climbed over into the other mans lap, laying his head on his shoulder, then letting out soft little breaths.

"Yoongi..I'm hungry." He mumbled and cuddled up into the other. Finding his comfort in the crooked of the rugged mans neck. Yoongi put the cigarette in the ashtray and rubbed hoseoks back, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close.

"My friend owns a little grill downstairs. The place is rusty but the food is amazing."  He smiled and said very husklily and with that hoarse voice that makes anyone fall in love. Hoseok smiled and nodded his head.

"Just a few more minutes of cuddles first." Hoseok whispered and closed his eyes again. Yoongi was another 'friend' of hoseoks. Hoseok and Yoongi had something very special however. They had always wanted to be together, but with yoongi being a underground musician and in a mainly homophobic area, they both knew it were safer to stay like this. And they both wanted to find their missing pieces aswell. Two polymorphic people trying to find the right people to complete the relationship. Hoseok had thought he found that with Jimin, which wasn't seemingly going right at the moment. And Yoongi had another love to he thinks is perfect, waiting for the perfect time to Introduce him to hoseok. Jimin is why hoseoks hurting right now. He though Jimin was going to be part of their love puzzle, he felt he was the perfect person, and by instinct, just part of their soulmate group. That's why hoseok was hurting so much. He blamed himself, for just wanting the other for lustful purposes and hiding the feelings trying to surface up. And by that time. It was to late. That's why he hates time. There is no time for anything anymore, everything and every choice is to late now. There is no such thing as perfect timing in a world were everything is rushed, and if you take your time, you are left behind.