Finding Hope {Editing}

Chapter 16

I have been feeling miserable for a couple of days now ever since Mr. Turner died and I broke up with Austin. I felt hurt from Mr. Turner's death because I have no one to talk to besides my dad, but still. I also felt stupid because I thought Austin actually liked me, but instead he decided to cheat on me and hurt me again. To be honest I'm just really done with him; I can't even look him in the eyes right now. Everyday I would get up to train with Stardust since the competition is in two weeks.

To be honest I really don't know what I'm fighting for anymore. I mean at first I just wanted to prove to Madison that I can beat her and that she's not the best, but now I wanted to prove to myself that I can do it and to my mom, Mr. Turner and my dad, but since I've lost almost everyone in my life I really cared about and now I don't even believe that I can do any of this. I have nothing to live for. No one who cares about me, who believes in me and actually think I can do this. I'm so lost in this world, I think it's time for me to go home and see my friends.

I went up to my dad and asked, "Hey dad, is it okay if I go stay with my friend Liz back home?"

He looked upset when I asked, but then he said, "Yeah sure honey. Let me get you a plane ticket and you go upstairs to pack and call your friend Liz to tell her you are coming to visit, so you have someone to pick you up when you get there."

"Okay, I will. I should be staying with her for about a week."

"Okay. I'm getting your plane ticket now."

I went straight upstairs to call Liz and tell her I was coming back to Virgina for a week and she was so excited that I was coming back for a week. I finished packing and headed back downstairs. My dad printed out the tickets and we were loading the truck. Austin stopped us by saying, "Where are y'all going?"

"Rose is going home to see a friend for a week, so I'm taking her to the airport."

"Oh, well I'll look after the place while you are gone."

"Okay, thanks Austin. I'll be back in a little while."

"No problem. See you when you get back." We finally headed to the airport. My dad dropped me off at the airport and I told him I wil call him when I land. I got on the airplane and put in my headphones and fell asleep. I woke up a couple of times and when back to sleep; I also read a book, too. The plane finally landed and I got off and got my luggage and headed to look for Liz. I eventually found her and ran up to her. She looked the same to me with her long straight brown hair with her fashoinable clothes.

We hugged and hugged and she finally said, "I missed you so much. Tell me every thing when we get home." We rode until we got to her house and I unpacked in the guest room and sat down. I told Liz everything about Texas from my relationship with my dad to Austin and Mr. Turner to Jeremy and I couldn't forget Stardust.

Night came and I was sitting on the guest's bed and thats when I got a text message it was from Austin: I think I should probably tell you that I miss you and can't wait until you get back to Texas,so I can see you again.

Me: Austin, why are you texting me right now. We haven't talked in weeks since you know.

Austin: I know Rose and I'm sorry for everything I've done. I know I have hurt you and put you in a lot of pain, but there is one thing I need to tell you.

Me: Okay, what is it?

Austin: It really is hard to say this, but I love you and Iwill always love you know matter what.

Me:Well I don't love you.

After I said that he didn't reply and I knew that I loved him, but I just couldn't bare the heartbreak again. I put my phone down and bawled my eyes because of a mixture of things between Mr. Turner and Austin. Liz finally came in and saw I was crying and came beside me and sat on the bed with me and pulled me in a hug. She rocked us back and forth and rubbed my back.

Five minutes later when I stopped crying Liz asked me, "Why are you crying? You just got back home."

"There's just a little unfinished business I left back in Texas."

"Is it about Austin? What really happened between you two?"

"Let me start with when he first got there. He showed up for his community service and he was cocky and I didn't like him at first, but after a while I started liking him, but that's when I saw him with Madison and that's when he broke my heart the first time. Then that's when Jeremy came into the picture and he made me feel like I was someone special. Jeremy took me to a party and that's when he tried to have sex with me, but I didn't want to. He tried to rape me that night, but I fought back before he could." I started tearing up a little bit. "I ran home and talked to my dad about it and then I talked to Austin and it eventually turned into kissing. I had always wanted to kiss him ever since he got there and then a couple of weeks ago I saw him with Madison kissing and I just wanted to die. That was the second time he hurt me. After that I bumped into Jeremy, who I haven't talked to since he tried to rape me, and Jeremy tried to kiss me and then he slapped me and I couldn't stand being hurt anymore, so I stopped talking to me. Also he just texted me and said that he loved me." I started crying again.

"What did you say back?"

"I told him I didn't love him anymore." Liz wiped my tears that were falling away.

"Did you actually mean that?"

I shook my head, still crying and said, "No. I don't know what to do."

"Do you want to know the honest opinion?" I shook my head saying yes and she continued, "Well this may seem a little cliche, but you should follow your heart just like in my favorite book "If I stay" it saids, "Love, it never dies. It never goes away, it never fades, so long as you hang on to it. Love can make you immortal." Look sweetie I know it may seem like you don't love him, or your just telling yourself not to love him, but even though you don't want to you will always love him no matter what."

"Thanks Liz. That really helped a lot. I think I'm going to go to bed. "

"Okay." She kissed my forehead and left to go to her room.

I laid down and that's when everything started to come back- the feelings and the hurt- I started crying once more. I thought that all the tears had dried out, but they didn't. I cried and cried. Liz came and laid down beside me and put her arm around me and just hugged me. I felt protect like nothing could ever hurt me. I cried all night long until I feel asleep. This night was the worst night of my life, but I'm glad I got it all out and told someone about my problems that actually understood what I was going though.

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A week went by, Liz and I had so much fun. We rode horses like we use to and went shopping and just had fun like we use to. On my last day Liz and I went to see a movie and then she took me to the airport. I hugged her and told her, "I'm so glad I came down for a visit. You helped me figure out a lot of things that I will definitely think about. I love you. I hope I can see you again very soon."

"I'm so glad you came down for a visit. I love you, too. I will always be here if you need someone to talk to I will always be here for you. Always! And that is a promise!" I gave her a hug and left to board the plane with tears forming in my eyes. When I got my seat I thought about everything that's happened in my life. I had no idea what was going to happen when I got back to Texas with Austin. After I told him I didn't love him I didn't think I could look him in the eye ever again. When I got off the plane and had my luggage I went outside to see if my father was out there waiting for me, but he wasn't, so I waited and waited. After about an hour off waiting Austin showed up in Mr. Turner's truck and said something I never thought was possible. "Your father is in the hospital right now. We need to go now."

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Hey everyone I know it's been forever since I have updated, but I've just been really busy with everything going on. but I hope you like this chapter. It shows more feelings that Rose has toward Austin. I hope you like it and sorry I left you with a cliffhanger. What do you think happened to Rose's father? Well I'm going to leave now, so vote and comment on the story for me. Thank you and I love all of my readers.

P.S. The picture on the side is of Ciara Bravo who plays Liz who was introduced in this chapter.