Book Reviews

Will We Have Our Happy Ending?

Story Statistics

Name: Will We Have Our Happy Ending?

Author: SAANVI005

Number of completed chapters: 2

Number of chapters read: 2

Genre: Fan Fiction

~*~

Many years ago, I had a rather interesting conversation with my sister about films and literature. I was probably twelve or thirteen years old at the time.

"Polu, what interests you more? Writing or storytelling?" She'd asked me curiously, sipping her cocktail.

I'd been puzzled by her question back then.

"Um...aren't they the same thing?" I'd asked.

"You see, that's a common misconception. A storyteller merely communicates a series of events with simplistic words or sounds. On the other hand, a writer is one who can pen down a story, skillfully. All writers are storytellers but all storytellers aren't writers. Why do you think 'screenplay' and 'story' credits are different in films?" She'd explained.

Over the years, I've kept this fact in my mind before attempting to write any passage. And it's the same fact that cropped up in my head as I read your Manan fan fiction 'Will We Have Our Happy Ending?"

So, let's talk about the blurb and the cover first. The cover is a little bit messy and can be improved a great deal. There are a lot of talented cover editors on Wattpad, and I think you could possibly opt for a better one. I do like the fact that it has a picture of one of the supporting characters, however. The blurb is decent enough and does evoke some amount of curiosity about the story. I wish you hadn't left such long gaps in between the sentences though.

The prologue technically violates one of the rules I'd set for reviewing a book-'No using SMS language'. But, I still decided to give the story a shot when I observed that the first chapter didn't really have much of it. This raises the question-why are writers tempted to use SMS language while writing a story? Is it sheer laziness? In my opinion, it should be avoided altogether. How much time does typing an 'Are' instead of an 'R' and a 'You' instead of a 'u' really take, when you're writing a story part? A minuscule amount, that's how much. Getting past this fact, I'd like to bring something else to your notice. The punctuation symbol '...' is called an ellipsis and signifies pauses or omitted words. It is always three dots, never two and hardly ever four. The prologue of the story overuses the ellipsis a lot, taking away from the dialogue which could otherwise have been pretty engaging.

From the two chapters published, I gathered that the story mainly revolves around a rather lovesick Nandini and a sketchy Manik (my favourite kind) who seems unsure of his feelings. The premise isn't drab, but the repeated flashbacks are a turn off. Flashbacks should be used only as a last resort while narrating a story. And in this story's case, there's a variety of ways in which the 'Chair Incident' could've been narrated. If you consider my story 'On the Run' (because at this point, I don't know what other example to give, since I don't know what other books you've read), flashbacks were used mainly when I was trying to narrate the same events using a different perspective, or when I had two chapters worth of incidents in the past to narrate. A 'flashback within a flashback' is a very bad idea. In a cinematic medium, it could still be used due to the visual depiction of events. However, in written form, it creates confusion, and the events become harder to understand. Quite frankly, I think the narration should have been linear in this story. We should've read the events that led to Nandini liking Manik in the first place, rather than hearing about them using unnecessary flashbacks.

When it comes to the characters, I like Navya, even though we've barely read about her. She seems to be full of spunk, and I'm actually more interested in her interactions with Cabir, rather than Manik and Nandini's exchanges. Nandini comes across as rather light headed due to the narration used. Manik is sort of a mixed bag at the moment. Aryaman seems pretty fun and I liked his face-off with Manik. Is it weird that I was rooting for Aryaman? He clearly had better comebacks than Manik, whose threats seemed pretty mundane. In fact, I feel like the story could use slightly less routine dialogues, in general. Inject some more humour and wit into the conversations. 

Another major aspect of the writing that needs improvement is the flow of tenses, and the punctuation. It's possibly the trickiest thing for writers to maintain tense consistencies and even the best of the best fail at it (even me, sometimes) and need a book editor to rectify it. This story shifts between present (perfect tense, sometimes) and past tense in the same sentence.

An instance of this error in Chapter Two (Broken Heart)-

"It was as if my throat has choked."

This sentence could either be correctly written as-

"It was as if my throat had choked."

Or simply (a better way),

"My throat felt choked."

My advice is to use present tense for interior monologues (which has been done in this story to some extent), past perfect for events in the past, and simple past for events that are happening at present.

Although I don't approve of the word 'proposal' being synonymous with confessing one's feelings, I did admire the set of lines you used to convey Nandini's emotions when she 'proposed to' Manik. They were kind of cute and beautiful at the same time. When you describe expressions, however, you need to write more than just a word or a phrase. What does a 'hurt' expression really mean? Describe the redness in her eyes, the moistness in them, her quavering voice and more of her features. Only if you use detailed descriptions, will people truly invest in the characters you create.

'Flashing back' to my anecdote at the beginning of the review (You see what I did there? Pun totally intended), I'd like to say that you certainly have a plot with potential at hand. You're surely on the way to becoming a 'storyteller', but if you work on the aspects that I've described above only then, will you become a memorable 'writer'.

~*~  

Do give the story a read, guys. Feel free to share your feedback here.