Bittersweet ━━ Bellamy Blake

𝟭𝟯. a story of more woe

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
i make the same mistakes every time

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     𝐆rounder warriors were built from the day they were born. Kids were molded into future killers as soon as they could walk. They held swords before they could hold pencils and books. They could utter kill before they could speak to their parents about life. Grounders were built from the ashes of another warrior.

     Elliot hated everything she had done just to become the merciless warrior they wanted her to be. She always wished she had died that day she got her scar. If she could go back in time, she would've chosen to die than become someone else's pawn in a pointless game they were trying to play all the time.

     It hit like a ton of bricks. Seeing all the dead bodies of her fellow Grounders and hearing the cries of the mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers of those who had perished. Then again, they all believed vengeance was the answer. Buried by the idea that death was the only solution to everything. 

    But it wasn't. It was a lie. A damn bogus. Because of it, most of humanity had gone away.

    Most of it at least. There were still the kind ones out there, those who never let others take their humanity away because they believed in the fact that there are miracles. Elliot wished she was one of them but instead, she became the cold-blooded warrior they always wanted her to be.

     I supposed that was on her. For letting them.

     Then Lincoln came along, the brother that stepped up. It was a moment of change for her. He was there for her through rough times. Several times she almost lost her mind. It got to the point that being forced to kill people had taken a toll on her when she was younger and vulnerable and stupid.

     She was almost on the brink of losing her own damn mind if Lincoln didn't try to get through her when they grew up and became part of the real world. Oh, how he wished he had come to her earlier. 

     But the deed was done. Elliot had killed people, acquaintances, and friends, and there was nothing she could do to take them all back. I suppose she was just as bad as Finn. Maybe even worse. Because she knew he didn't mean what he did no matter how cruel it was. 

    I guess it was still hard for her to accept that. Because that would prove that she was worse.

  That's when she let the tears fall for the first time after long, long years of bottling her feelings inside. It felt like something just lifted off her chest. A large weight of heaviness. Like a big rubble of debris.

     Her hair fell over her face, almost covering it entirely when she slightly tilted her head. She sat on a sturdy branch up on a random tree. Her tears wet some of her hair, stained with blood and dirt, turning it into a darker color of white. An unusual color for a girl who crawled her way out from underneath the Earth.

      Realizing that she had been clenching her fists too hard that they became almost white, Elliot unclenched them with a deep sigh of breath. She looked up at the sky that peeked between the trees with her only eye. She pursed her dry lips from the lack of water, and let her slender and calloused fingers trailed over the scar of her face with contempt.

     Again, she closed her eye as a lone tear slipped and slid against her reddened cheeks. A mess. That's what she was right now. Her dirty hand gripped the side of her face, almost like she was about to get rid of it by ripping it off. Elliot hated this scar the most out of all of them. Because it was a reminder.