SECOND LEAD SYNDROME | JJK

66 | BITTERSWEET

School was never easy for me, but it was better because I had good friends. From the start there was Lisa whom I've experienced almost my whole entire life with and then later came Chaeyoung whom taught and guided me through my adolescence. It wasn't any easier with Jungkook and Jimin constantly harassing me.

But for what it's worth— I wouldn't have become the person I was today if it wasn't for them.

Lisa taught me friendship. Chaeyoung taught me literally everything. Jungkook taught me love. And Jimin... I guess he taught me patience.

Though the memories will soon fade, I was glad that I'll always have those people by my side. And no matter what the future holds from this point forward, I was no longer afraid knowing they'll be right there beside me.

I've waited for graduation since the very first day I started school and now that it's finally here... I feel borderline depressed. It was nearly two decades of my life coming to a close, another chapter coming to an end. It was symbolic within itself, a symbolism for growth and new ventures in life.

I just couldn't believe it, it was surreal.

In my darkest times, when I thought I'd given up, I never could've imagined this day. I never thought that I would see this day, never thought I'd live through it.

But I did.

Graduation was bittersweet. We cried and we laughed, we took a shit ton of photos.

After graduation was a different story.

After word that I got accepted into the university of my dreams, my parents were ecstatic more than anything. But that didn't change their minds about Jungkook— even if it was him who spoke to the admissions dean on my behalf. Not that I even had the courage to tell them, I doubt they'd be happy about it knowing how prideful they are.

The summer after highschool was the most depressing I've ever been. I hadn't done much, sure I met up with Lisa and Chaeyoung a few times here and there, but there wasn't anything spectacular about my summer. But the main reason for my 'depression' was the sole fact that I didn't know what to do with my life. The clock was ticking down on me to pick a major and I had no clue whatsoever. I spent hours researching and pondering every possibility, yet the deeper I delved, the more lost I became.

When I was so sure of myself, I'd question everything and then I'm back to square one once more.

In addition to that, I haven't been able to see my boyfriend since graduation. Two whole months. FaceTiming wasn't enough to satiate my longing for him, especially when we got horny. Sexting was never an option for me but Jungkook was obviously up for it, given his prior experience.

Two months without seeing him in person, without holding him, kissing him.

It just wasn't the same.

I was so upset that I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I'd stay up all night and sleep all morning, I would waste away. My face was sullen and the skin around my eyes were clouded with darkness. I lay awake at night and often pray to whatever gods are out there, begging for clarity and to be able to be with my lover again.

But days passed. Then weeks.

It quickly seemed impossible.

-

"Yura, darling," my mother knocks on my bedroom door and doesn't stop until I answer.

"What?" I shout from my bed. I'm still in my pajamas and haven't showered nor brushed my teeth. I wasn't sure that I even wanted to get out of bed— what was the point if I was just going to stay home in my bedroom all day anyways?