Loving Jane

Seven

I don't know how long we were talking. At first, it was difficult to bring up the topic from last night, especially about Edmund and my unborn child. However, somehow, Sebastian was about to navigate the conversation back to it when I'm already comfortable and calm.

"I didn't know I was pregnant until I lost the baby," I whispered dejectedly. "It was a month after I got the letter from a military officer. It may have been the funeral arrangements, or the stress I felt after his passing, or when it finally dawns on me that he was truly gone. Maybe it was all of it accumulating until my body was into a lot of stress. Then one night, as I cried myself to sleep, I felt a stabbing pain below my stomach. At first, I didn't think much of it. The next morning, I realize what it was. My blood soak sheets were evidence enough for me to understand what happened." I paused to let out a heavy breath. "I haven't told anyone about it. Actually, I haven't mentioned it to anyone until today."

It was then I felt a hand reach out to mine. I looked up and met Sebastian's gaze. His eyes were a bit red from holding back his tears. "I'm so sorry, Jane." He whispered.

I smiled sadly. "Thank you for sitting here with me and listen to my story. I hope you won't judge me too harshly for it."

He chuckled and squeezed my hand. "I don't judge people based on what others or themselves tell me. I make my own judgment based on what I know is true about them. And you, Jane, are a remarkable woman. So please don't think any less of yourself."

I chuckled and squeezed his hand back. "I don't deserve such praise from you. But still, thank you anyways."

"You're welcome."

Though his words didn't have any meaning, there was some weight to it. So did his gaze on me, which suddenly made me a bit conscious. And then I got too aware of his grip on my hand. It was warm and comforting under my grasp. When he lightly squeezed it again, I was reminded of where I am and what it was between us. He's only a friend.

"Anyways," I started and loosen my grip, signaling him to let go. "Aren't you needed elsewhere? I think I've taken too much of your time. Friend or not, you still have a duty to your job, Seb."

It was then he did let go, but he allowed his touch to linger a second longer. "You're right. I do have somewhere else to be. And I should get going or else I'll get reprimanded by my superior again."

"Again? You can't mean..." I felt guilty. "I'm sorry for last night, Seb. Truly. If there's a way for me to help you out, or explain to your superior about what happened, which I don't know how without telling them about my past or..."

He interjected. "You don't need to apologize or cover for me, Jane. I'm fine. And I just got away with taking extra work next week. It's nothing compared to what I gain from it." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes at his playful reply. "Well, if you do need some sort of testament that you weren't actually slacking off, which I think you are now, but I would gladly lie for a friend in need." I cheekily said.

"I'm honored you'd do that for me. But I won't let you lie, commit a crime, and make false testimony for me, Jane. I'm good and come to terms with it. And your friendship is enough to lessen the punishment of my actions."

"Then I'm glad my friendship has some worth."

Sebastian grabbed my hand again, squeezing it in assurance. "You are worth it, Jane." He then let go and quickly made his way to the door. "I'll see you later. Rest and eat your dinner later."

He didn't wait for my reply and disappeared. My eyes wide open, and my mouth slightly ajar. I shook it off and cupped my warm cheeks. He just caught me off guard again. He's only a friend, Jane Cohan.