Loving Jane

Thirteen

It has been two weeks since I stayed at my mother's good grace. I knew I had to return to the real world one way or another. I can't over welcome my visit, yet she didn't see it the same way.

"If you don't want to stay in the house, why don't I help you find an apartment here?" My mother offered after arguing with her for the past half an hour about returning home.

"Mom, you know I have life's in Portland, mom. Seattle was lovely, and you, Randy, and the boys are here, but..."

She sighed in defeat. "After your father and I split, I already thought you'd chose to join me here after I got the job. But you were much closer to him than I am. So, I thought that's why you stayed in Portland. And then you met Edmund, and even if you were staying with for half of the year with me after your father died, you were still drawn back there," she paused and met my gaze. "I couldn't stop you back then, honey. I won't stop you now."

"Mom, it's not because I don't want to stay here with you," I said. "I love to stay, but Portland is my home. Our family is there. Dad is buried there, and so is Edmund," I paused, feeling choked.

"They won't resent you if you left, honey." She muttered one last time in retort.

"I'm sorry, mom. I can't."

She nodded and finally let it go. "You don't have to apologize to me, honey. And I won't resent you for it."

And she did let me go.

There wasn't much to pack, as I've always known I will be going back once I've recovered from my injuries. And the weekend of my last day, my stepfather, mother, and stepbrothers drove me to the airport. Our goodbyes were short, knowing it won't be the last time we'll meet. My heart swelled at my newfound hope. My life did have worth, and I had family who would weep if I give up on it.

When I returned to Portland, Aileen was there at the airport to greet me home. Her welcoming hug reminded me what more I'd lose, not just my family with my mother and Randy, but also with Aileen. She was more than a friend. She was like a sister.

My sabbatical did more than recover my body, but also my soul. Though I knew it wasn't entirely of my own accord. It was then my hand reached up to my chest, tracing the rose pendant. Sebastian.

The dinner party last weekend still lingering in my consciousness. Sebastian and I didn't speak again after we've finished washing the dishes. And half an hour later, he and his parents left for the night with simple goodbyes. And I haven't heard from him since then, yet it didn't bother me. Somehow, in my heart, I knew I would see him.

He was here in Portland, as I am.

~~~~

"How's the interview? Did you get the job? But don't be disappointed if you didn't. This is your first week back to reality. Don't be too difficult for yourself." Aileen's constant willful assurance was the only thing keeping me sane in the days following my return.

Since I quit my job months back, before I had my accident, my financial security was at risk. Though my mother offered to pay the portion of my hospital bill, I'm responsible for more than half of it. And my savings alone can't cover the loan I acquired from the bank to pay it.

"I know, Aileen." I tried not to look too smug at my news. But she saw the glint in my eyes.

"What is it, Jane? Spit it out. Did you get the job?" She pressed, a growing smile edging on her lips.

I grinned. "I got it!"

She jumped nearly tackling me to the carpeted floor of our apartment. "You got it! Why didn't you say so?"