Falling

15

Vinny Taylor

I was pretty much the biggest idiot ever.

Going to Carson's house after I told him to forget about me was stupid. Getting on his lap and making out with him was even worse, but there I was.

My mouth continued moving against his, slowly and sensually. I put my hands on his and moved them up to my hair, allowing his fingers to tangle in the hair at the base of my neck.

Carson's lips were smooth against mine, parting and waiting for my next move. He let out a content sigh from the back of his throat which only pushed me to continue, no matter how stupid I knew I was being.

I brought my hand to the side of his face, caressing his defined jaw and holding him against me. His face was soft against my rough hands. His face in my hand fit like a puzzle, like this position was natural for the two of us. Our noses brushed against each other as we both tilted our heads in opposite directions to deepen the kiss. Carson pulled at my hair, causing me to let out a groan of pleasure.

With my eyes closed and my lips preoccupied with Carson's, it was like the rest of the world was at a standstill, and I could savor the moment without thinking about everything else surrounding us. This moment of blissful ignorance could only last so long, it once it was over, reality would come crashing back in like it always did.

I abruptly pulled my lips off of his, continuing to hold his face in my hand as I stared down at him. Carson's face was beautifully flushed, his cheeks pink and his eyes hazy with lust and desire. His lips were swollen, parted as if waiting for more.

Our heavy breathing matched, our chests rising and falling together. Carson's face leaned closer to mine as if absentmindedly trying to connect our lips again.

I almost gave in, but I couldn't.

I scrambled to get off of Carson, backing up as soon as I was on my feet. He seemed stunned for a moment, his hands staying in place where they once held me, before he stood up and walked toward me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a look of concern overtaking his face.

I couldn't look at him.

"I have to go," I muttered, turning away from him and leaving toward the door. His quick steps on the hardwood floor told me he was following me.

"Vinny, wait," Carson urged, following me out the front door, though he didn't reach out to grab me and for that I was grateful.

When I got to my car, I finally turned to face him. The look of concern was now mixed with disappointment and my chest constricted at the sight. I didn't like that I had been the reason for that look on his face.

"Please wait," Carson said, his voice hopeful.

I pressed my lips together, biting the inside of my cheek. I was the biggest idiot to ever live. He wouldn't want to kiss me again if I kept running away every time. Maybe that was for the better. Maybe that would end us before we started.

With distance between us, I could calm myself down. I could look at his face, even if it hurt me to do it, and I could talk to him without feeling like my voice would be small.

"Carson, I can't," I said with a sigh, presenting a stoic expression. "That was a huge fucking mistake. A huge one."

His face fell and I felt a crack in my heart that I hoped didn't break my stony expression.

"Why?" he asked, his voice remaining strong despite the look he gave me. That was something I always appreciated about Carson; he was strong and bold, never backing down.