Chasing Solace (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

VII - Nevermind

A/N - I recognize that some of the technical aspects of this don't make sense but whatever. It's fiction :P

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My breaths came short, shallow, panicked as I tried to make sense of everything around me. Whispers echoed in my ear, some more distinct than others, but all I remembered from moments of my life.

Be the good guys...

It's time, Madi...

You shouldn't keep blaming yourself for his wrongdoings. Why not? Everyone else does. You do...

Maybe there are no good guys...

Do better...

I love you. I love you Y/N. I'm in love with you...

Looks like you got what you wanted...

I picked up a notebook propped up against the bed. Immediately, I felt Clarke's presence. I opened to the first page. Before I even read a word, my vision went hazy. A memory of me and her racing towards Bekka's lab before the death wave hit struck my mind. I turned a page, and it was the two of us screaming, distressed, terrified, ready to give up in that desert before we found the valley.

I dropped the book, picked up another. It was everything I remembered with my father. One page I opened to brought me back to the day I was dropped to the ground, when I hugged my father when our relationship was still rocky, when I thought I was going to die.

Yet another called out to me. This one was overwhelmingly Bellamy. Just touching the book, I could almost feel his breath against my neck, his hand laced with mine, his warm touch soothing me to the core. The first page I opened brought me back to the first encounter I had with him on the dropship — ​​​​​staring at him, trying to figure him out in one glance.

You're Kane's daughter aren't you?

And you're pretending to be a guard.

I flipped the page and another memory jumped out at me. Bellamy carried me in his arms after Lincoln attacked me in the cave. Another flip, and it was the two of us in the dropship, when I told him how I'd ended up arrested. Then it was us professing our love in Mount Weather, our painful rift when we were on opposite sides of the Arkadian civil war, our teary rejoice when we found each other again after six years apart.

I closed the book, unable to bear more memories of the man I loved when I didn't know where he was. Or where I was for that matter. Instinctively, I touched my middle finger to quell my tears, but my ring was gone.

I wiped the tears from my eyes with the sleeve of my prisoner shirt. I turned my attention to the door of the cell. Getting out of here was priority number one. Then I could figure out what the fuck was going on. Hesitantly, I approached it, wishing for a weapon of some sort to defend myself should the need arise. Without even touching it, the door creaked open.

Total silence encompassed me. I looked down, to see my ring was on my finger, and I was dressed the same I was the day Diyoza came to the valley with her ship - down to the red pigmentation in my hair. I barely recognized the house I'd stepped into. It was reminiscent of the one I'd taken over in the valley after Praimfaya, but there was some foreign element to it as well, something that made it seem less real.

I swallowed over the lump in my throat, trying to ignore the unnatural light coming from the windows outside. Slowly, I crept through the house. I turned down a hallway and into a kitchen, where a woman was standing at the stove, her back turned to me. I froze, hoping she didn't hear me. But as I looked closer, I realized I recognized her posture, the way her stubborn hair curled around her right ear, the golden band around her left ring finger.