Chasing Solace (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

XI - Ashes to Ashes

I jolted awake, gasping. Sweat dripped from my hairline. Panic seized me for a moment, half sure that everything had been a dream and Josephine still had control of me. Almost immediately, Bellamy was at my side, comforting me. With a gentle grip, he took his hand in mine. Stroking my hair with his other hand brought me the most peace imaginable.

"Hey, you're okay," he whispered, smiling softly. "You're still here."

Sighing, I relaxed, rubbing my thumb across his knuckles. "Thanks to you. How long have I been asleep?"

"A few hours," Bellamy replied, adjusting the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. A smile tugged at the corner of my lips. I didn't think I'd ever seen him look so normal in all the time I'd known him. We stared at each other for a moment, relishing in the fact that we were together again. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I knew you were a target. I didn't protect you."

Slowly, I sat up, fighting against the dizzy spell washing through me. I squeezed his hand. "Bellamy, you saved me."

"So how do we save everyone I left behind?" He replied, avoiding my eyes.

I put a hand on the side of his face, turned his gaze back to mine. I moved closer to him. "You know, if you didn't, I'd be dead. They all would. Raven, Madi...all of them. Josephine would've made sure of it. Your plan was good."

"My plan was to use Josephine's mind drive to bargain for peace, and now there's no mind on the drive," Bellamy said, voice taut.

I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Warmth fluttered through me, as it always did. When I drew away, resolve turned that warmth to ice. To protect Bellamy, to protect everyone we loved, there was only one thing I could do. "We don't need the mind drive. We've got me."

Dread filled Bellamy's wide eyes. His grip on my hand tightened with desperation. "No. No way."

I sighed. "Bellamy, if we don't give Russel his daughter back-"

"Y/N, as soon as he realizes you're not her, which will be the second you walk in the door and he checks the drive, you're dead!" Bellamy protested, his voice growing more unsteady with every word.

Gabriel suggested, "So let's put it back in."

I tilted my head, considering. Josephine was gone. I'd already had my neck cut open a few times. What was one more? It could work.

Unsurprisingly, Bellamy did not agree. "That's not happening. We appreciate what you did for us, but these are our people. We'll take it from here."

I sighed, twining my fingers with his. "This isn't just about our people, Bellamy."

Bellamy turned to me, eyes brimming with selfish desire. I understood that look. Caring so deeply about one person that no one and nothing else mattered. This was about him almost losing me. "Well, it is for me, Y/N."

Octavia entered the tent, cutting the emotional weight between Bellamy and I. A new sort of tension rose in its place. She stared at us for a moment before clearing her throat. "Good. Everyone's awake. So what's the plan?"

Silence fell. I stared at Bellamy, trying to ignore his pleading, distressed aura. I hated walk away from him again. We kept having near misses, almost losing each other. This time it was too close. And I had to leave him again. My heart broke just thinking about it, but it was what needed to happen to save our people.

I relayed the idea to Octavia, while pulling on my old jacket, relishing in its comfort. I missed the reminders of Earth, as shitty as life had been there. I had a lot of good memories.

All four of us stood around a table, discussing how to move forward.

I leaned my forearms on the table, addressing Gabriel. "You're a nightblood. You could walk through the shield at any time and lower it. Why haven't you?"