The Upperclassman

Chapter 3

The next 6 weeks were a blur. I avoided Grayson and most of our friends and spent as much time as I could with my mom. I knew she would miss me when I was gone. Surprisingly, she wasn't upset when I told her of my new plan. She didn't even ask too many questions. 

We were at Target, buying everything in sight for my new dorm, when she finally dropped the bomb. "Are you sure this is what you really want to do?" She asked innocently.

I looked at her kind, worn face. She was the strongest person I knew, having raised me mostly on her own. She had gotten pregnant with me when she was in high school and my dad had married her out of obligation. A forced marriage doesn't usually work and by the time I was three he was out of the picture. 

It had been just us since then. My mom gave up everything to make sure I had a good childhood, working long hours at low paying jobs. 

Once, when I was sixteen, I was throwing a fit about not having my own car. My mom finally lost her cool and screamed at me about the sacrifices she had made, how selfish I was. The guilt hit me like a truck and I realized I had probably ruined every plan she had for herself. I never complained again and we never spoke of that night. 

She had loved Grayson, but she had also told me to never make plans around a man. She never mentioned it, but I knew she was extremely relieved and proud that I had graduated child-free. 

"I'm sure Mom. I need this fresh start and I need to figure out who I am, by myself," I kissed her cheek and she nodded. I know it was killing her that I was leaving, but she would never let herself stop me. 

Even if I had ruined every plan she had ever had for her life, she would never let herself do the same to me. 

                                                                                            ***

My room was packed up, plastic totes stacked in every corner. The Uhaul trailer mom had rented was parked in the driveway. I sat on my bed mentally going over my checklist. Next to me my phone buzzed with a text

So.. tomorrow's the day... you ready? Grayson. 

He had left two weeks ago for football. We hadn't seen each other since the night I told him I wasn't going with him. I had texted him the day he left and told him good luck but got no reply. I figured that was it. 

As ready as I'm going to be. How is it so far college boy? I replied trying to keep it light. 

Pretty tough. Coach is killing us. Janine taking you? He was subtly asking how my mom was taking me leaving.

Yep. I really didn't have anything else to say.

Be safe. Good luck Ell. 

I took a page out of his playbook and didn't reply. 

I laid awake in my bed thinking about what my life would be like after tomorrow. A seventeen hour drive would separate current me from the new me. I couldn't wait. 

                                                                                         ***

For early August, the morning was chilly. I ran back inside and grabbed one of the sweatshirts I was leaving behind and threw it on. I caught my reflection in my closet mirror and stopped. The navy crewneck hung down to almost my knees. AUBURN was stitched in orange across the front. Grayson had gotten this sweater when we went to visit last fall. I had stolen it 2 weeks later. I smiled at the thought and rolled up the sleeves, closing my bedroom door for the last time as I left.

Mom was anxious in the driver's seat. We were planning to stop in Columbus, Ohio and get a hotel room and finish the rest of the trip tomorrow. I looked out the window and silently said goodbye to Kansas City.