Unstable And Yours

Dear Diary: Entry 1

Dear Diary

So, I suppose one could label the events that transpired as betrayal or a similar term, given that I believe the actions align with what people typically define as betrayal – when a supposed "friend" engages in actions behind your back that have the potential to deeply hurt you. However, in my case, I could give a fuck about the specific actions of this friend; it's the underlying principle that bothers me. The audacity of this girl to betray me, though "betray" might not fully capture the gravity of the situation – I struggle to find a more fitting word.

So let me put names with bitches. I had two closest friends, Kelly and Makayla, whom I met back in third grade. Our paths crossed when my mother and I relocated to Florida, seeking a fresh start. The move was prompted not only by the desire for a new beginning but also because my mother had a promising business opportunity in the state. It's been almost ten years since we embarked on this journey, and Kelly and Makayla have been an integral part of my life ever since.

Perhaps for the wrong reasons, I initially started talking to them because I found them physically attractive, not considering their personalities. Back in third grade, I wasn't focused on their behavior. However, looking back, I realized they were actually a pair of bullies, often targeting and making disparaging remarks about people's appearances. Their tendencies started at a young age and only seemed to intensify as we grew older. Even I became a target for their hurtful comments.I stand at a somewhat embarrassing height of 5'2, and I don't have the flattest stomach, though I'm not plus-sized. I'm a petite 17-year-old girl with a bit of weight on my stomach, and there's nothing wrong with that. Over the years, I've observed how they influenced several girls to alter their looks in a negative way. I vividly recall one incident where a girl passed out from not eating because Kelly had told her she was too fat.

I've always had a problem with how they treated girls and my problem is that I never spoke up against them. Not because I was scared but because I was just over it and didn't have the energy. You don't have to tell me, I know that is a dumb ass reason. But I think my sophomore  year I became completely over them. It wasn't on purpose I just lost interest in being around them surely but shortly. When we would go to parties I would just wonder off on some couch somewhere and share a joint with some random ass teen and just vibe laying back until I was ready to go. They really did hate the fact that I smoked and didn't hang around them. Mikayla and Kelly has slept with each other multiple times and although I do find myself being curious when it comes to girls, I am not interested in them in that way.

Then, at one dreadful party, I encountered someone I thought I wouldn't regret meeting—Jackson Baxter. Now, you could argue he was popular because many people knew him, and numerous girls wanted to be with him. However, let's be honest here; he's a complete idiot. I vividly recall someone even writing "Dumb ass Baxter" on his locker one year, so he wasn't immune to some small-scale hazing.Despite his academic shortcomings and his reputation as a class clown, he excelled at basketball, and, coincidentally, he resembled someone I had a crush on. That's how my attraction to him initially began. I attended one of his games with Kelly and couldn't help but notice how attractive he looked with sweat glistening down on him. While some might find sweat unattractive, trust me, witnessing the right guy perspire can completely alter your opinion.

Anyway, later that day, there was a party happening at some affluent teenager's house, and I decided to go with Kelly and Makayla—mainly because I was bored and knew Jackson would be there. I wanted to take a chance and shoot my shot.

The party itself wasn't anything extraordinary. Not much happened except for the fact that all my flirting efforts paid off, and by the following Monday, Jackson was officially my boyfriend.

I won't deny it; it was pretty obvious that Kelly had feelings for Jackson. The thing is, both of us liked him. I recall spending weekends together in my room, discussing details like which month our wedding would be in. So, I knew it was only a matter of time before one of us would officially be with him, you know?

And honestly if things were different and Kelly was the one to go out with Jackson first I would been totally happy for her. No way in the world would I want to sabotage her happiness with him but I guess she wasn't thinking the same way.

I just realized I didn't even write what she did.

This all unfolded on the last weekend before senior year began, and it happened at the same affluent teenager's house (whose name isn't important, and, truthfully, I don't even know it—heck, I'm not even sure about their gender).

Anyway, they hosted another party, and I attended it with Makayla. Kelly wasn't with us, which struck me as odd because we used to do everything together. However, I was likely oblivious to the fact that she probably harbored some resentment towards me. So, I went to the party with Makayla, all dressed up, as I was supposed to meet Jackson there, and we planned to leave the party early to catch a movie.

However, I ended up being an hour late meeting him due to some issues with my mother. When I finally arrived at the party, I attempted to call him, but he wasn't answering. I chalked it up to the loud music drowning out my calls. Determined to find him, I navigated through the enormous house, practically losing my voice from repeatedly asking people if they had seen him. Eventually, I located the stairs, growing increasingly frustrated, and at that point, I was just ready to go home.

As I was about to descend the stairs, I accidentally bumped into Kelly emerging from one of the rooms. I was a bit confused because I didn't expect her to be there, and to make matters worse, she appeared nervous upon seeing me. When I inquired about what she was doing in the room, she couldn't even speak without stuttering. Frustrated, I pushed past her, only to find Jackson pulling up his pants with his belt hanging open.

Honestly I just laughed. I mean I was pissed too but just seeing him made me hysterical.

No physical altercation occurred, but I was so furious that I slapped Kelly hard enough for her to tumble down the stairs. Unfortunately, she didn't suffer any serious injuries, just a few scars on her face. I can't recall exactly what was going through my mind as I descended the stairs, but I do remember forcefully making my way through a crowd of drunk and amorous teenagers until I reached the outside.

So yeah that's pretty much it. Kelly slept with my boyfriend( I think, it could have just been a blowjob) but whatever she did, it pissed me off and she betrayed me. I'm not really pressed about her "taking my man" It's just the principal.

So now I have to find out what's to come in the near future.

P.S in my mind Jackson was the next best thing from the man I actually wanted.
A/n
All right y'all.... I'm back and I literally be face palming myself while writing this story. I feel like it's a mess but I'm probably tripping. Anyways tell what y'all think! Thanks for reading!!!