No Man's Land

30- It Gets Messier

Jana Odele
_____

"I'm glad you're okay, you know," Carrie said with her phone up to her ear so that it wasn't obvious she was talking to me. I kept my gaze pinned at the end of the hallway, where the sign pointed towards the side exit. I had changed out of the hospital gown and into a pair of borrowed clothes, so the three of us now only looked like visitors.

"Where did he end up?" I asked, cutting straight to the question. Carrie was familiar with most of my tricks and had seen me use them before, so, my only option was to be honest.

"I held him there for a few minutes. When the smoke went up I left."

"You just left him?" My jaw clenched. For all she knew, he could have gone back and finished the job. 

"I knew he'd be more helpful sober," she argued. She meant he'd be more useful to the agency alive. So she hadn't killed him. "The doctors couldn't find him, he must have checked out." 

"There were way too many of them for him to just leave," I brought up. 

"I know just as much as you do," she cautioned.

"He's going to come back for his medication." Yavuz would eventually have to come back and finish the job. Being a mole a year back was one thing; escaping him was another. I could hurt his reputation, badly.

"The doctors will make sure he can't," Carrie insisted.

"I trust them, but they'll be too held up by the paperwork," meaning that I'd either get whisked away to an unknown location for a year or they'd decide the field agent could handle herself. Likely the latter, seeing as how their previous attempt at keeping us untraceable had gone.

"There's not much I can do for him, I'm sorry," she apologized. Her voice was downtrodden beyond the metaphors.

"It's not your fault, anyone would have made that choice," I said that honestly. I would never just say no to my family's survival. But that's where my espionage work would come in, and that wasn't Carrie's main asset.

"I'll call you in a while, but don't do anything too inconvenient on my behalf," she instructed.

"I can give you some names and recommendations," I offered. I had a lot of connections and people who owed me favors who would have been more than happy to repay me, but she shook her head.

"This is my own, to pay for." Carrie stood up and started towards the exit, sparing a final quick glance back. Our eyes met for a moment and I nodded.

"Good luck," I muttered. I lowered my hand from my ear and looked to Nate.

"I have a few things to deal with before I start the mountain of accident reports and debriefs Muriel has ready for me. Cover for me?"

"When will you be back? I can only say you're in the bathroom for so long," he laughed. I shrugged.

"I'll catch a cab to the apartment and do a few things in the city. Give it a couple hours."

"If you're not back in three I'll tell Muriel. Keep your gun on you," Nate ordered. I rolled my eyes.

"Got it, boss." 

I started towards the door and, as I waited for a taxi to pull up, realized it was the first time I'd stepped onto the busy New York streets in weeks.

_____ 

I walked into the lobby of New York's field office with my posture straight and heels clicking against the linoleum. I had changed into a black pantsuit as soon as I got to the apartment, unfortunately for the wound in my back. It was high enough that the fabric wasn't tight on it, but the heavy blazer pressed against it enough to be annoying.