The Whirlwind and The Still Lake

Chapter 1: Hell Hath No Agony

She sat on the bus, slipping into a vacant seat silently and taking her phone out of her pocket.

Hey, where are you? I'm about ten minutes away.

They waited a moment, then tired of staring helplessly at the screen and opened up Autodesk, before promptly closing it.
You can't draw on a bus, you stupid bitch.
Tapped on Instagram.
What did you think was gonna be there? Messages? What, do you think people like talking to you?
"Huh. I must be in a bad mood today..." they mumbled.

I'm almost there. What do you want?

Nothing, I just wanted to catch up.
I'll leave you alone if you're getting sick of me.

No no no, I mean from the shop! I'm assuming you haven't had breakfast?

...

What? Don't lie to me, I know you haven't eaten.

Chewing gum is fine. Sugar free this time though.

Alright, alright, sugar free it is.

Seyara gave up and closed her phone, putting it in her pocket and staring aimlessly out at the winter sunrise. Faintly, the moon was hanging low in the sky, it's pearlescent glow fading to the rising light of the sun. The trees were silhouetted against the oranges, blues and a whisper of greens colouring the skyline, bare branches stretching out to brush their spindly fingers against the sparse expanses of cloud above.

"The next stop is Charrid Way."

Seyara jumped, suddenly paying attention, to see her stop coming into view. Frantically, she scrambled to get her things together and hurried off the bus - murmuring a quiet "Thank you." as she passed the driver's seat.

"Hey!! Get your gay ass over here and walk with me!" A voice echoed across the quiet estate as their friend, Faeri, ran towards them bearing the promised sugar free gum.
"There's no point when you're already running." They mumbled. "What?!" Faeri yelled, despite being barely a metre from Seyara."N-nothing. Can I have my gum now?"
"Here you go." She said, at a reasonable volume this time.
"Thanks. Give me a minute would you? I need to make sure I didn't lose anything on the bus because I was in a hurry to get off." Seyara said quietly but clearly.
"Sure. Take your time." Faeri replied too quickly.
You're irritating her. She'd much rather hang out with Alexander or Joseph or even Owen. Worthless, stupid, irritating, selfish-
"Are you there? Helloooo!" A pale hand waved in front of their face. "Oh. Right." Seyara felt through the front pocket of her backpack until her hand clasped on a cold wooden box, immensely relieved. "Found it."
"Awesome. Let's head to hell." Exclaimed Faeri cheerfully.
They walked in comfortable silence for a moment, save the quiet munching of chewing gum.

"...So, when are you gonna tell your Ma your new name?" Faeri questioned cautiously. Her words hung heavy in the air until Seyara broke the tense hush between them. "Hopefully? When it feels safe. Realistically? Never. I mean, it's not that I don't want to but I just don't think I can handle people telling me I'm disgusting and wrong both at home and at school."
"Fair enough. But hey, if you ever need help or you just want to talk or hang out, I'm always here." Faeri flashed a dazzling smile before grabbing Seyara's chilly hand and dragging her along

                                                  *
Arriving just on time, Seyara ran to registration and sat down just in time. "James?"
"Yes miss." She said breathlessly, silently cursing her dead name.
"Oi teach! Call him by his new name. What was it? Sayori? Wasn't that the suicidal bitch in that weird game?" An obnoxious voice called from the back, and Seyara winced at the purposeful use of pronouns and mocking tone.
"Mr. Gilchrist, sit down! Sorry Ja - do forgive me, sorry Seyara. Please don't be afraid to correct me, I'll get there much faster if you do. And YOU," Mrs. Dido wheeled around furiously, turning in the owner if the obnoxious voice. "YOU will be spending this afternoon writing an essay on why respecting pronouns and mocking those who don't fit within the confines of your narrow mind is, was, and never will be okay."

After her furiously protective speech, Mrs. Dido dismissed everyone, but held Seyara back for a few moments to briefly apologise for making a big deal out of the incident. "I just don't want other students to think that kind of disrespectful and hateful behaviour is acceptable."
"Well I can't say I enjoyed the attention, but I certainly appreciated the effort. I've got to go, I've got Music next so I'll have to hurry up the tower stairs." Seyara replied politely. "Well off you trot then, and take care!" Mrs. Dido called after her disappearing figure. "That child.." she muttered under her breath.

Seyara
Holy fuck was that awful. They were probably all staring at me the entire time and looking at my disgusting thighs and just-
Aargh
And now they'll all think its funny to misgender me because it messes with me and fucking hell I'm not a boy I'm not a boy oh god what if  I'm just lying to myself-

I walked down the corridor as unnoticeable as I could, people pushing past me to get to the stairs as I tried not to panic.

Digging my nails into my side as hard as I could through my shirt, I walked towards my classroom in a daze.
Suddenly, I felt my nail tear skin and quickly pulled my hand away (so it wouldn't scratch), relishing in the lovely crescent of pain before hiding my eyes under my fringe of explosive curls.

                                                   *
Music has always been something I enjoy. My mother raised me on milk and melodies, which has served me well when I needed an outlet for a build-up of emotions. However, when it comes to doing it in front of people, I'd...really rather not.
That might have been why, instead of heading to the lunch hall, I instead decided to go up on to the roof .

A/N

Thank you for sitting through what was presumably a pretty terrible chapter. I know how irritating these notes can be so I'll keep this short. I should be updating every week on Fridays, and though the day of the update may change in the future it should hopefully remain a weekly affair. Thank you again
                                                                           -Arin