If I Know You

Chapter 6

I had tried to hide, but twenty minutes later, Jo had finally wrestled away the blanket separating my shameful self from their piercing green gaze, and I had to confess to them that my future wife had knocked me in the head with a mushroom pot because I had been hiding under her bed and tried to flirt with her.

They hadn't stopped laughing for five minutes.

"And then you-" More laughter. "And she-" They cackled. "AND-" They sounded like a yowling cat.

I buried my face further into the bed to get away from this stupid fairy. If Jo was supposed to be my protector or godmother, they were doing a terrible job. Or an incredibly realistic job of acting like my idiot brother. The gods had really been having fun torturing me these last few days.

Days? No. It was only yesterday that I had been home in my room. So much nightmare had been crammed into such a short time, I wanted to vomit.

"I told you the shirt thing wouldn't work out." Their voice was muffled by the stuffed bear I was hiding under. They lifted the pillow and peeked underneath, not even trying to hide the mischief in their eyes. "What did she think about the nipple piercings? Did she say anything?"

"Leave me alone," I said, my voice as flat as my deflated ego. "Just eat me already."

"Come on, Roro," they laughed, yanking the pillow away. "This is great news! You've found the world of dreams and you can talk to Pippa! This makes your life so much easier. We can work on some tips and you'll get right back in there and win your bae."

I tugged on the rings in my ears to the point of pain. Nothing about this was easy. In one stupid moment, I had ruined my chances at winning Pippa's heart, and to make things worse, my stupid brain felt devastated that she would never love me. The opposite of how it was supposed to feel.

But I needed her to love me. At the very least, I needed her to think she loved me for a few days. It was the only way to get her out of that place and back into her parents' arms where she belonged.

If she was ever going to have the life her family had always wanted for her, the life of waking up, getting married, and producing the swarm of babies that all princesses wanted, then she needed her true love.

The true love who was supposedly me.

However...

The moment from before I fell asleep popped into my head. The moment where she moved.

My eyes flew upon a little wider.

Oh. Ooohhhhh.

A little pearl of hope started bouncing around inside me, as annoying as a pebble in my shoe. The seed of a plan to make everyone as happy as possible.

I plan I was going to take and run – no, walk slowly but purposefully – with.

She needed somebody to give her a happy ending, but maybe that person didn't need to be me.

Maybe, there was somebody else who, with my help, could weasel their way in. Perhaps a fairy who said she was cute. The same one who managed to make her move when I couldn't.

Jo, the maniac fairy from Earth, was the answer to all my problems. I looked up at them.

"Get off your caboose, friendo." Jo held up their rectangle. "It's time to practice a little more. We need to get you prepared and then back in there so you can get the girl when you fall back asleep. I'll get you a phone too, then we can text each other."

"No," I started slowly. "No, I want to go back there right now, and you should come with me this time. I want you there."

They tilted their head, making their red curls flop to the other side. "I mean, it'd be kinda cool to see a magical dream land, but this is your show, man. And I don't sleep, so I couldn't get there."