Dumbass akatsuki scenarios

secret Santa

* the narrator clears there throat *

It was a normal day in the akatsuki base, a week before Christmas. All the S class criminals doing there own things, until the almighty God stands in the living room.

Pein: " meetings in the kitchen in five minutes!! "

All the members groan and gather around in the living room, five minutes pass and pein walks into the living room.

Pein: " what are you all doing?, I said kitchen "

Hidan: " trying to watch TV bitch "

Pein: " * groan's * fine we'll have it here, as you all know Christmas is a week away "

Hidan: " and? "

Pein: " so I was thinking of ways to make the base, feel a bit more into the holiday spirit "

Obito: " we live in a fucken cave "

Pein: " anyways, I decided we'll all do secret Santa "

Konan: " what's that? "

Pein: " I'm glad you asked konan. It's a thing people do, they put names of people in a bucket or whatever. They go and pull a name out, and whoever they get they have to buy them a gift. And each person had to choose someone, it's way to buy someone a gift but you yourself get one "

Kisame: " so in other words, you're trying to make us bond "

Pein: " yes, now I'll put names in this hat "

* He pulls out a straw hat, that had some folded piece of papers in it *

Pein: " me and four other people will pick names. So I'm going to close my eyes, and pick four Random people "

* Pein closes his eyes and points at deidara, hidan, kakuzu, and Kisame *

Pein: " okay whoever I pointed at, please stand up and pick a piece of paper out of the hat. And make sure it isn't your own name "

* All nod and hidan goes first, he picks a piece of paper. Then kisame followed, kakuzu, deidara, and pein *

Pein: " okay open them "

* Deidara was the first to open and saw he got itachi *

Deidara: " can I switch hn?, I don't like who I got "

Hidan: " Who you get Blondie? "

Pein: " no, no one can tell each other who they got. I'd ruin the fun, besides it's not that- son of a bitch! "

* They look at him confused, and pein saw he got Sasori *

* Kakuzu opens his and saw he got obito *

Kakuzu: " this will be easy "

* Kisame opens his and saw he got zetzu, he swallows nervously *

Kisame: " oh Crap " 

* Hidan opens his piece of paper and saw he got konan *

Hidan: " Alright!, I know what I'm getting them "

Pein: " you can't give them your dick "

Hidan: " damn "

Pein: " anyways you five, pick a piece of paper and see who you got "

* Itachi, konan, obito, zetzu, and sasori each grab a piece of paper *

* Itachi opens his and saw it was Kisame *

Itachi: " this will be easy "

* Konan opens her and saw it was kakuzu *

Konan: " fuck "

* Obito opens his and saw he got pein *

Obito: " eh "

* Zetzu opens his and saw he got deidara *

Zetzu: " huh, this will be easy " " yeah "

Pein: " okay, now I figure out anyone told someone who there getting a gift for. I'm taking you out of this "

Hidan: " wack "

Pein: " anyways, now have fun and get to shopping. Meeting dismissed!! "

So all of the criminals head there separate ways, to think of gifts to give one another. I wonder how this will work out?