What If

28. The Other Shoe

"I want you inside me," I moaned to Sean.

Surprise and shock covered his face. "Lydia, I don't think that's a good idea."

"You don't want me?" I asked with a sultry smile. Okay, I'll admit, I was anxious as hell. I never liked my birthday, mainly because we never celebrated it. I wanted to start making new memories, good memories. I wanted to drive out the bad ones and not think about them anymore.

"You have no idea how much I want you." His voice was low and throaty; and it made my body heat.

"Then what's the problem?"

He positioned himself between my legs as he kissed me. "Are you sure about this?" He whispered against my lips. "We don't have to rush this."

"I know that," I said as I kissed his neck. "I want this, Sean. With you."

He dropped his head into the hollow of my neck with a groan. He wanted this just as much as I did. Even though I was beaming with confidence, I was still a little nervous. And scared. In some ways, I was still a virgin. But, I wasn't going to let anything ruin this.

Sean looked up at me. "If you want me to stop--"

"I won't," I interrupted. The fact that he would even say that made me trust him even more than I already did.

Whatever he had been holding back when we've messed around before must have burst open. He attacked me with his mouth. His tongue stroked mine and I gripped his shoulders. After deepening the kiss, my body was on fire for him.

"Now, Sean," I begged between kisses.

I felt his hand slide down my body. He lifted my leg as he positioned himself at my entrance. He kissed me long and deep as he slid inside me slowly, torturously, until he was all the way in. He stayed like that for a minute and his eyes met mine.

"Are you okay?" He asked in a ragged voice.

I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth. I was so lost to the new sensations that I couldn't form words. All I could do was nod and I could have sworn he whispered, "Thank God".

He withdrew before pushing himself back in and we both moaned at the contact. He rested his weight on his arms as he started going faster.

"God, Lydia. You feel amazing."

The faster he went, memories from my childhood started flashing through my mind. I started to panic and Sean must have noticed.

"Hey, hey," he said as he stopped thrusting and looked into my eyes. "Just you and me here. You understand?" When I simply nodded, he said, "Say it."

"It's just you and me."

"Good. Are you okay?"

What was it about his voice and his touch that seemed to always bring me back from the darkness? "Yes. Please don't stop."

He crushed his lips against mine and started that delicious rhythm inside me again. My body responded and I found myself lifting my hips to meet his.

I was surprised at the sounds that were escaping me. I was moaning his name, asking him to go harder; faster. When I raked my nails down his back, he looked me in the eye and said, "I could stay inside of you forever."

It wasn't long before I found my body exploding from the pleasure and Sean was right behind me. After he released himself, he stayed like that for a minute. He looked down at me and gave me the slowest, sweetest kiss. Almost like he was trying to tell me something he couldn't say out loud.